Keep Your Friends Close But Your Enemies Closer
by lizren
Summary: Raito devises the perfect plan to find out L's real name... seduce him.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We own nothing.**

**A note to readers: If you read the English version of Death Note, you'll know that the main character is named "Light." However, we started this story before the English manga was released and therefore refer to him as "Raito," or the direct translation from the original Japanese. Neither of us can get into calling him Light…O.o Also: this story was written by two people, Liz (me, the main poster) and Ren, thus the username "lizren." Just...so you know...XD **

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"And what are you going to do after L lets you into his hotel room?" Ryuuk asked Raito curiously.

"Seduce him. The plan is simple and brilliant. Once I execute it he will let down his guard and I'll be able to extract his true name," Raito answered in a matter-of-fact tone.

Ryuuk looked amused. "Can I have another apple?"

Glaring, Raito tossed the big blue death god a Fuji apple from his bedside cabinet. Clearly the simple death god did not understand the sheer brilliance of his plan. L was always moaning about how Raito was his first and only friend, revealing to Raito his complete dependence on anything that showed the slightest bit of interest in him. And Raito could use this to his advantage.

"I don't even know why I bother telling you my plans," Raito muttered darkly as he left his room with Ryuuk trailing a few feet behind. The Death Note felt heavy and ominous in Raito's jacket pocket, and he smiled forebodingly at what he was about to do.

_This is it,_ he thought to himself. _This is when I'll finally eliminate L. _The preparations were complete, the arrangements all made. He had called L on his cell phone a few hours ago, instructing L to meet him at the Tokyo Hilton. L had been slightly wary of agreeing to be alone with Raito in a high-end hotel (and rightly so), but hadn't been able to resist Raito's charm in the end. _That'll be his fatal flaw… _Raito mused to himself again with a smirk.

They were scheduled to meet in room 122 in only an hour and a half's time, and Raito planned to catch a train to the hotel. Shortly, the time of his glory would be coming.

Without any disruptions, Raito arrived at the station on time and then made his way to the hotel. He smiled to himself as he unlocked the door, took off his jacket, and laid down seductively on the bed. L would be arriving any minute now.

Just as Raito predicted, a timid knocking sounded at the door a few minutes later. Using as alluring and gentle a voice as possible for a man such as himself, he called "Come in! The door's open." Raito could barely contain his excitement. This day would go down in history once Kira was the supreme leader of the world.

The door swung open, revealing L looking confused and rather uncomfortable. Shoes looked almost out of place on his usually bare feet.

"Oh, Ryuuzaki, you look tired. Why don't you have a seat," Raito said, still trying his best to look and sound enticing. L blinked and leaned forward, staring wide-eyed at Raito.  
"You seem different, Yagami-kun," he said with a little suspicion in his voice. But, naturally, Raito had expected this.

"Yes, well. I've had a change of…_heart_," He disguised a malicious laugh with a small cough, which he hoped sounded cute. Anything to get L soft enough to throw caution to the wind and reveal his secret…

"Oh?" Ryuuzaki said, cocking his head slightly. "Then what's this meeting about. A hotel is a very strange place to meet alone, Yagami-kun."

Raito smiled. I've got him right where I want him, he thought. "Oh no, I didn't invite you for business," he said aloud. "I invited you as a…well, you know…as a friend."

L's eyes widened, but he seemed unable to speak. Suppressing more malicious laughter at how beautifully his plan was working, Raito put on a pleading pout that he hoped no man could refuse.

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**A/N2: END CHAPTER 1! Now on to two?**


	2. Chapter 2

"Raito-kun, did you hit your head?" L asked considerately, looking Raito over as if expecting to find a bruise.

Raito tried to keep his face blank, but inside he was fuming. All he had said was that he considered L a friend…although he was also currently lying seductively on the bed in an attempt to seduce his fellow detective into revealing his true name, in order to then kill him with the Death Note. _Well it's only a matter of time before he gives in to my masculine charm,_ Raito thought. It was rather annoying how clueless L acted. But then again, Raito _was_ the intellectual superior (or so he believed).

"No, Ryuuzaki…but I am aching…" he answered with a slight smile.

"Oh? Are you sick? Maybe I should let you sleep."

"No…no. Ryuuzaki," Raito conjured up every bit of resolve he had, thinking only of the look on L's face as he died of a heart attack induced by the Death Note, "I'm aching for _you._"

L pulled his legs closer in. "Yagami-kun, Tylenol is more effective."

Raito suppressed his frustrated rage, closing his eyes and slowly counting to five. By the time he had opened them, L had grabbed the TV remote and pressed the 'on' button. The screen lit up to show a cooking program.

"Oh, my," L whispered, eyes wider than usual. "What delicious looking desserts they're making. Raito, what is this show called?" He seemed entranced by the TV.

Raito's own eyes narrowed into a glare. "Iron Chef." It was obvious his tactics were no longer effective. Time for a change in strategy. "Ryuuzaki, you look uncomfortable in that small chair. Why don't you come sit here with me?" Raito pointed to a space on the bed next to him.

"I'm quite comfortable…" L trailed off at the end, still staring fixedly at the men assembling desserts on the television screen. One man seemed to be making a flambé, a sort of cream pie, and a giant, three-tiered cake.

Raito wanted to roll his eyes. L was actually so simple as to be entranced by a cake. But this would be his downfall… "It's closer to the TV over here, you know."

L barely glanced at the bed, but he started to slowly sidle over to it, not tearing his eyes from the program moving on screen. He sat down tentatively on the edge of the mattress.

Just then the program went to commercial break, and Raito seized his chance. He slid over to a spot on the bed next to L, slipping his arm around L's shoulders and leaning onto him.

L seemed to snap back to reality, looking mildly surprised at the positioning of Raito's arm. "Yagami-kun, if you're tired I can take you home."

Raito's head relaxed on to L's shoulder. "To your home?" he asked almost hopefully. Only a little longer and he might find out something useful about this enimga of a man.

"You know I sleep at headquarters, Yagami-kun. Why would I need a house?" He said it as if it was the most obvious fact he had ever encountered, although Raito had never realized that L actually slept in their "office."

"Oh, right," Raito replied. He pulled L a little closer to himself, surprised at how easy this bit of theatrics was coming to him. He was used to acting the innocent little Yagami-kun around most people, but this seemed different. It almost came naturally. "If I can't stay with you, my best friend, then I don't want to go home!" Raito copied Misa's usual little pouting routine. Perhaps she actually was useful, at times…

L seemed, once again, surprised at being called a 'friend'. "Raito…"

_Good, he's dropped the Yagami-kun._

"You really are acting strange…" It was true, not even when they were handcuffed together had Raito been so affectionate.

_Hah, you don't know the half of._

"Are you sure you're alright?"

_Just nod and smile._

Silence resumed, with Raito still hanging on L. "Ryuuzaki's such a long name…can I call you something else? Ryuu, maybe?"

L actually seemed a little disturbed by this, looking away from Raito and at the TV, and Raito wondered if he had gone too far. However, L spoke up before he could say anything. "Ah, the program's started again! I'm sorry, what did you say, Yagami-kun?"

Raito sighed and couldn't stifle a yawn. L smiled at that. Raito realized his mistake and quickly perked up, but inwardly knew it was no use. And for some reason, L's little amused smile had made him feel a small tingle somewhere in his stomach. Startled, confused, and knowing he was defeated today, he finally resigned for the night, lying back on the bed.

Raito seethed. He had gone into this thinking it would be easy. But he had greatly underestimated L's power and intelligence, even after all the experiences he had shared with him. What he needed now was a little patience. In time, L would fall. He would slip up. He had to.

Raito smiled to himself and drifted off to sleep listening to the sound of the TV, aware of how unintelligent it was to sleep in front of the enemy but unable to stop himself all the same. Although unsettled, there was a warm feeling in him that he'd never felt before. Perhaps the sip of sake he had drunken to be polite at a meeting earlier in the day was catching up with him…

**A/N: Yeah Raito, of _course_ it's the sake…XD. This really isn't a complete chapter, but I'm going on vacation and wanted to get this up before then. Enjoyyyyy (I hope)!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Raito opened his eyes, immediately alert. There was light shining through the window of the hotel room he was still in. A blanket had been laid gently atop him. He sat up slowly, glancing around the room, checking to see if it was really empty. Sighing with frustration, he tore the blanket off himself and charged out of the room, barely even slowing down at the check-out desk in the lobby. How could he have expected to get the information out of L in a single night?

_Now,_ he thought to himself as he exited the building, _Plan Two is about to begin…_

Fishing his cell phone out of his pocket, he dialed L's number, glaring at a teenage girl on the street when she stopped to hit on him. L answered on the third ring.

"Moshi-moshi."

"Hello, Ryuuzaki," Raito said in a sweet voice, the sounds playing on his lips for a moment.

"Oh, Yagami-kun, I had fun last night. Will we be doing it again soon?" L actually sounded _hopeful_. Raito almost snorted.

"Why yes, Ryuuzaki-kun. I was in fact calling you about just that! How about we go to…oh, I dunno….the movies? I have two tickets to one I've been wanting to see…"

Ryuuzaki seemed to be contemplating this offer, as he hesitated a second before answering. "The Kira case is not yet solved, Yagami-kun. We need to concentrate on that first."

Despite this answer, Raito already knew that he had L in the palm of his hand. "You're always such a hard worker! It'll only be three hours after the work day's ended!"

There was only a contemplative silence on the other line.

Raito spoke again. "Please?" He really did remind himself of Misa, which normally would have deeply disturbed him, but now it was all for the "Bring Down L" cause. And he would do _anything_ for the "Bring Down L" cause.

"Well…..alright, Raito."

"Great!" Raito actually meant this, although not for the reason he knew L would think. "I'll even get us some dessert afterwards!"

"Dessert! What time should I meet you?" L was now noticeably more excited.

"Seven, at the Cinema Square Tokyu. See you there!" He hung up without waiting for an answer. He was almost at the Kira HQ anyway. And frankly, he didn't really care what L answered. He wouldn't take no. He doubted he could take another failure, and also doubted he would have one. Plan Two was so brilliant and fail safe that no one but him could've thought it up.

While working, he and L mentioned nothing of the previous night or their plans for later that evening. Misa had come up to him on one occasion in the afternoon, planting a kiss on his cheek and hugging him heartily, but he swatted her off with a "_not now, I'm working_!" He thought somewhat wearily that things would be easier if the world could just gain some IQ points. Maybe they'd realize that if they just stopped hunting Kira and stopped committing crimes, Raito could stop having to kill people and the entire troublesome Kira investigation could be stopped. He wouldn't even have to bother with this messy business of seducing L!

Sighing to himself for his whimsical thoughts, he left the building for home, planning on changing before he met with L. He surprised himself with the amount of time he spent arranging his hair; usually he just dashed out and it just naturally fell into perfect array. Now, however, he seemed more vain than usual. '_Probably just because today will be the glory-filled evening I'll finally start on my brilliantly unstoppable path to kill L,' _he thought with a smirk.

He arrived at the theater at a quarter of, straightening his expensive jacket and trendy shirt. He had already Fandengo'd the tickets and was now shifting from foot to foot, restless. This surprised him, again, since he usually wasn't nervous at all. Not even when he was in a jail cell, cornered by L, about to be exposed as Kira. He had always relied on his intellect to get him out of such spots, so there was no need for nervousness. Of course, this feeling was probably just anxiousness at what was about to occur.

L was going to fall at Raito's hands. L was going to be exposed, tricked into giving his secret away by none other than Raito himself.

Just as a smile curled onto Raito's lips at this thought, he heard footfalls behind him and turned to see L meandering towards where he was standing. "Ryuuzaki!" Raito called out, intending his malicious smile to appear like he was happy to see L. In a way, he was. His dreams would finally be realized.

"Yagami-kun, how are you?" he said in his usual calm and somewhat eccentric voice.

"Good, good. I trust you are too?" But before L had time to answer, Raito grabbed his arm and led him inside the theater, away from the bustling and noisy nightlife of Tokyo's streets.

L seemed stunned at the touch of Raito's arm, but followed him obligingly enough. Raito could barely contain the desire to roll his eyes at L's daftness when he reminded himself that he had underestimated L before, and that had ended in disaster. No matter how foolish L seemed, he must not be underestimated.

They sat down quickly in the back row, just as Raito had planned. The theater was already packed, despite their early arrival.

"The picture doesn't start for another fifteen minutes, but I thought it'd just be nice to talk, don't you think?" Raito said, glancing at L for a moment.

L nodded halfheartedly, entranced in a man with a bright purple mohawk in the row before them.

Raito glared in annoyance. "So, Ryuuzaki…how did you get to be in the detective business?"

L sort of tilted his head to look a little at Raito, seeming not the least bit interested. "I was raised to be one."

Raito took it as a joke and laughed. L apparently didn't think it was funny at all, for he turned back to stare at the mohawk man and what appeared to be his girlfriend, although she was so covered in piercings she could have been a pincushion.

"Well…I just want to help people," Raito said, attempting once again to engage him. He leaned against L a little then, grazing his fingers along L's hand. At this, L finally seemed to take notice that Raito was even there. His head shot in Raito's direction suddenly, but he said nothing.

Raito once again spoke to fill up the silence that had ensued. "You know, we've been working together a long time now. And we were even handcuffed together for months and months, living side-by-side, day in and day out. But I still feel like I don't know you. Like I don't know the real Ryuuzaki." He forced his face into what he considered to be a pleading look, and was rewarded when L's forehead creased into thought.

"Yagami-kun, you know everything about me," he said as he blinked his wide eyes. "We work together every day and, like you said, lived together."

Raito faked a sad smile. "But if I'm your best friend, I ought to know more about you than your work side."

L's eyes grew, if possible, larger. "Best….friend…?"

Raito nodded, and then changed his features to that of horrified shock with himself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…I mean…if you don't think that I'm your best friend, that's fine…But it's just," he paused for dramatic effect, "_You're mine_."

L looked speechless. As if on cue, the movie started rolling and the lights dimmed. Raito added in a hushed voice, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," in the seconds before the sound started playing. L had no time to reply.

_Good,_ Raito thought. _Let him stew it over._

Throughout the movie, which happened to be a mystery-horror flick, Raito cowered against L, pressing his body to L's whenever possible. L seemed completely engrossed in the movie until about halfway through he leaned over to Raito and whispered, "That man there, he was the one who committed the crime in the beginning."

Inwardly, Raito made a derisive noise, but he couldn't help wondering how L had known this only halfway through the movie. Misa had already dragged him to this particular film on her idea of a "date", and it had taken him another scene and a half to figure it out.

Of course, this movie was a complete rag and could never be applied to a real situation. It being utter filth probably had some effect on his mental processes, slowing them down enough to be beaten by L's.

He stifled a yawn as the movie dragged on, using every opportunity available to snuggle up against L. He was extremely relieved when it ended.

"So what did you think of the movie?" Raito asked as they lined up to exit the theater.

L actually smiled a little. "Too easy." Raito was a little surprised at his answer until he realized L was talking about the supposed "mystery" of the movie.

"Yes, well, things can't all be as hard to solve as the Kira case! Now _that_ would be a nightmare!" Raito laughed, and was mildly surprised to see L smiling with him.

"As promised," Raito continued, "I'll take you out for some cake." He tried to smile sweetly.

L's eyes widened to an abnormal size again at the mention of cake. Raito merely sighed. _What a simple-minded fool_, he thought without his normal scathing mental tone. He would've usually checked his temperature or maybe even his pulse if something like this ever came into his mind, but there was an odd feeling buzzing in his stomach.

He glanced over at L, hoping for a pang of dislike, but merely saw him still smiling at the mention of his favorite sweet. Something about his smile amplified the feeling in Raito's stomach. Shaking his head to clear it, he continued talking.

"Ryuuzaki, I didn't mean to scare you earlier, before the movie," he tried very hard to look concerned. "But it is the truth."

The smile was gone from L's face. "Well, Yagami-kun, since you are my only friend I guess you are my best friend also." Raito nodded in response, and for several minutes they walked on in silence.

They stopped outside a small, cozy looking modern teashop. "Here's a nice little café I go to sometimes," Raito said abruptly. This time L nodded in response, although he looks positively greedy at the thought of some cake.

Raito and L sat down at a small corner table in the dimly lit café. A young waitress approached them, looking eagerly at the brown-haired man sitting before her. "What can I get you tonight?" she smiled at him.

Raito's response was a purposeful glare. "I'd like a doubleshot espresso and my friend here would like some strawberry cake," he said in a flat voice.

"No drink for your, er…friend?" She said, sounding disappointed at the way Raito had emphasized the word.

Raito didn't even bother answering; he simply turned back to L and started chatting about the latest gossip story in the tabloids, which he had researched especially for this mission. L looked wholly uninterested, but it had done the trick and made the waitress leave. As soon as she was out of earshot, Raito struck up the real conversation.

"Ryuuzaki's such a long name…can't I call you something shorter?"

L blinked. "You can call me any name you want, Yagami-kun." He didn't seem to notice that "any name you want" could be a very bad thing to suggest.

Raito simply smiled. "How about Ryuu, then? I think that's a cute name, and much easier to slip off the tongue." He smiled just a little.

L was now staring at him very strangely and intently.

"Well, Ryuu, I meant what I said earlier. That we should get to know each other better."

L just continued to stare.

"I guess I'll start, then." Raito was becoming annoyed at L's obvious refusal to help him along, and it was hard to keep the annoyance out of his voice. "I was born here in Tokyo, and I've wanted to become a lawyer since I was five. But I guess my obvious need to help the people in this world has somewhat changed my ambition," he said whimsically, keeping his eyes locked on L the entire time.

Their mutual gaze was finally broken when the waitress returned with the espresso and cake. L immediately tore his eyes away from Raito to stare at his slice, gingerly picking up his fork by the very edge of the handle. Raito sighed and dismissed the waitress, sipping from his drink.

"What did _you_ want to be when you were young, Ryuu?"

L looked up and merely said, " I've told you already, Yagami-kun, I was raised to be a detective." Raito almost let out his sigh of frustration, but managed to change it into a happy little sigh at the last moment.

"Ryuu, please don't call my that silly _Yagami-kun_! If we're mutual best friends I should think that you would be comfortable calling me by my first name!" He made an attempt at an offended tone.

"Well, ok, if you want me too Ya-…I mean Raito," he said between bites of his cake.

"See, that's much better. It feels…cozier." He tried to smile but had to cough to cover up his sarcastic laughter.

They talked about little else as L finished up his cake and Raito paid the bill. It wasn't until they left the café that L even spoke. "Thank you, Raito. This is the first thing I've ever done with a friend." He cracked a small, hesitant smile.

Raito took this to mean that L himself was cracking under his genius plan. "Well, we'll have to do it again, won't we? Unless…you want to come over to my place now…" He made his voice casual, almost as if he was nervous about suggesting such a thing.

L's face stayed even. "But what would we do there?" he said curiously.

"Ohhh, I'm sure we could find something to do…" He smiled and had to forcibly suppress an evil leer.

"Well, alright," L said with some hesitation.

With those two words, Raito knew he had him.

Manic laughter pounded through Raito's head, but he kept his face contorted into a small grin.

**a u t h o r ' s _note_: Finally! A chapter of decent length! As always, let us know if you see any inaccuracies/technical problems in this since it still hasn't been beta'd. I might take up some of those beta offers... I think I'm gonna try and make this a weekly or bi-weekly release thing…although that might change as school starts…;; Thanks for all the reviews and favs and make sure to keep checking back!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I've had to re-write this chapter several times, which is one reason why it took so long XD The other reasons are simply that I've been away and Ren has just been lazy. xx This is all getting rather angsty, so I'll try to add a little more fun and humor and that sort of thing to it. Have fun reading! **

Chapter 4 

Raito had planned everything. Perfectly.

He had gained L's trust. He had made sure L could get more comfortable with him. He had even drunk a doubleshot espresso to ensure that he wouldn't fall asleep this time. And then L had agreed to come home with him.

His work was now laid out straight before him.

He led L into his apartment, giving him a pair of slippers to put on at the door. L refused them and slipped off his shoes, revealing bare feet. A vein in Raito's forehead twitched visibly as he forced a smile.

"This way," he called, leading L deeper into the apartment, towards the bedroom. "Would you like some tea?"

"No thank you Yaga—I mean Raito," he said absently, his eyes scanning the room's interior. A bed was set in the center of the room, with nightstands on either side. A desk sat on the opposite wall. There were no decorations, nor anything that would make the room look remotely friendly. Just plain, austere furniture.

Raito sat down on the bed, taking L's hand and pulling L beside him. L looked over at Raito's desk, where a small TV was playing the news. "Two more Kira killings," he commented distractedly.

Raito moved his hand, almost against his will, up to L's face, cupping it in his hands. He forcibly turned it away from the TV screen and towards him, a strange light in his eyes. There was a slight flutter in his stomach as L's eyes met his own, dark and boundless.

Raito, confused at this, dropped his hand from L's cheek, but L didn't look away. Finally, L spoke. "What is it, Raito? You look pale." His features showed concerned.

This concern, given from his mortal enemy, made Raito snap back to reality. Here he was, with L sitting on his bed, pondering his strange stomach problem when he should be moving his plans forward! Without hesitation, Raito leaned a little closer to L, so their faces were only inches apart.

"Ryuuzaki, I…" he began, doing his best to sound confused and hesitant. It came out pretty authentically since, although he could never admit this to himself, he _was_ rather confused and hesitant.

L stared at him blankly, waiting for whatever Raito was trying to say. Looking straight into L's eyes, Raito suddenly knew what he had to do. He hadn't planned on it so early, but in this moment it all seemed so clear.

Without further hesitation or thought, he closed the small gap between them and pressed his lips against L's.

Startled, L stiffened and made to pull away, but just then a voice sounded from the doorway. "Raito, what are you doing?"

Raito immediately turned towards Misa's voice, swearing at himself for ever giving Misa a key. She was nothing but a completely useless annoyance who interfered with his plans.

"Konbanwa, Amane-san," L said politely from his place on the bed, looking completely nonplussed at what had just happened between him and Raito.

Raito ignored him and walked over to Misa, thinking of what he could say to her to make her grasp the magnitude of what she had just done. "Misa," he hissed, his voice like venom, "Get out of here."

For once, Misa did not obey him. "Raito, I asked you what you were doing!" She sounded determined to have her question answered.

Raito was losing his patience, which he never really had much of with Misa in the first place. "I said _get out of here._" He turned around to signal that their conversation was over, but Misa grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Were you…What were you two doing, Raito?" She was almost pleading, but there was a strange edge to her voice. A dangerous, possessive edge.

Raito closed his eyes and grit his teeth. "Nothing that concerns _you_. Now leave before I do something I regret." Although Raito seriously doubted he would regret anything that he did to Misa, whether he was angry with her or not.

At this, Misa spun Raito around, so he was now facing her again. "How can you say it doesn't concern me, Raito! I love you, and I thought you loved me!" She looked about to burst into tears.

"Well," Raito said impatiently, "You were wrong."

Misa took a deep breath at these words, her eyes widening. She seemed so about to burst into tears that Raito was shocked at the tone of her next words. "Raito, you're mine, and don't you talk to me like that!" she said in a voice filled with cold hate. Then, without any warning, she raised her hand and slapped him. _Hard._

Completely stunned, Raito gave Misa a chillingly cold glare. "I formally apologize, _Amane-san_," he said in a voice of complete hatred.

He knew this unfamiliarity would hurt her, and he was rewarded when a look of pure despair crossed her face. Whipping around, she stomped out of his apartment, slamming the door behind her.

Raito smiled cruelly. He turned around and was disappointed to find that L had not left, or even moved, during their fight scene. He was still perched on the bed, exactly as Raito had left him. Now, however, Raito was in no mood to play games with him. For the good of his plan, he shouldn't even try. He knew he'd end up losing his patience with the stupid brat and destroying everything he had worked for.

He laid down heavily on the bed. But before he could subtly hint to L that now was a good time to leave, L pulled his legs up against his chest, into his normal sitting position, accidentally brushing Raito's foot in the process.

Completely wound up and infuriated over the Misa incident, Raito reacted instinctively and pushed his foot against L's. L looked up at him curiously and pushed his foot harder against Raito's.

What the hell was L doing? Playing with him? Seeing how far he could be pushed? Raito's well-controlled temper snapped at this, unable to hold back his vehement rage at L's inability to comprehend anything.

He slammed his foot against L's, backing it with all the force he could get from a laying position. L, taking it as a challenge, pushed back at Raito with equal force. The two sat on the bed, legs shaking from exertion, pushing at the other's foot for several seconds. It looked like they were equally matched. But, just as Raito was regaining his composure and wondering what the hell he was doing, L conjured a surprising amount of force into his foot.

Raito, completely surprised by this, was unable to counter. He flew off the bed and landed hard on the ground, hitting his head against his nightstand in the process. The room swam before his eyes for a moment, and then everything went black.

L, still sitting unharmed on the bed, smiled a little. Looking down at the prostrate Raito he said in a low voice, "Yagami-kun, you still can't beat me."

Noiselessly sliding off the bed, he slipped out of the room and then out of the apartment, wondering if Raito might invite him for cake again.

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Raito woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. The headache only worsened when he realized exactly why he was lying on the floor, instead of in his bed.

He had been foiled by a game of footsie.

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**A/N2: Ooooh, Raito got told! Thanks to my wonderfully nitpicky beta and friend, Magnumzero, and also to everyone who's reviewed this. Ren came up with the footsie idea, but I kinda stole the writing. In fact, Ren came up with the idea of a DN fic, and I stole the writing there too…sorry, ren….XD Comments are rewarded with some more Raito/L love!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ren and I just got back from Otakon! Ren cosplayed as Misamisa and I cosplayed as Raito, while our friend did L. It was awesome! We did a few… er … hilarious L/Raito fanservice piccys, so if you'd like to check them out, they're posted on my lj (link in profile).**

**Anyway, about this chapter: Ren wrote the beginning, as well as the stairs scene in the next chapter, and then she forced me to finish this and the next chapter on the equivalent of gunpoint. Yeah. So much for TEAMWORK! Haha. Ignore me. School's starting soon and I'm overworked XD **

**----**

"Mm, well….as far as I can tell, you have a mild concussion," Raito's mother declared confidently. "No need to send for a doctor—how did you hurt your head again?"

Raito sighed. "Tennis," he said tiredly. "Thanks, mother," he added politely, and threw in an insincere smile to please her. Grimacing, he got up from the chair he was sitting in and headed for his room, preparing to do some serious thinking.

His plans so far had failed, in regards to L. And in addition to that, Misa was now adding to his rapidly growing headache. She would have to be told of his plan; otherwise, he would lose an indispensable asset to his plan for a better world. Fortunately, so far L had been completely clueless. So clueless, in fact, that it was really almost adorable.

Raito stopped short in the doorway of his room and replayed that last thought with growing shock. "That thought did not just happen"he told his brain sternly. _Ah, but you cannot deny that L IS adorable, _said a treacherous voice in his mind, _those wide, innocent eyes, and that messy look about him that always makes him seem like he's just got out of bed..._ "Shut up," Raito growled, walking into his room—and straight into Ryuuk.

"Talking to yourself?" Ryuuk asked curiously. "That's a first. I take it your Plan is not going well?"

Raito shot Ryuuk a glare that would probably have been lethal directed at anyone but a Shinigami. "No," he snapped curtly, "I wasn't aware you were interested in my plan," he continued coolly, getting his temper under control.

"It's entertaining," Ryuuk replied with what might have been a shrug. "Do you have an apple for me?"

Raito shook his head. "I've been busy," he explained, "I'll get one for you later," he added, eyeing Ryuuk suspiciously. Ryuuk's initial look of disappointment had suddenly been replaced with a sly expression. "What does L like to eat?" the death god asked innocently.

Raito searched Ryuuk's face for a clue as to what this simple question was leading to. "Cake," he answered slowly.

"Give him cake," Ryuuk advised instantly.

"I already have," Raito snapped, pacing his room anxiously.

"Well, give him some more," Ryuuk said placidly, "just poison it this time."

Raito turned around to stare at Ryuuk in shock. "You mean," he began, "murder him the normal way?"

Ryuuk nodded.

Raito frowned. "Absolutely not," he objected, "not only is it risky, but it would make me a murderer myself. Plus it would take the fun out of everything," he whined. But part of him was delaying L's death because…because…hmm, he wasn't quite sure.

"It was just a suggestion," Ryuuk defended, shrugging. "But you could still give him more cake."

"Excellent idea," Raito drawled, "If I surround him with various types of cake, he'll fall in love with me. GREAT PLAN, Ryuuk!" he said sarcastically.

"It was just a suggestion," Ryuuk repeated, looking miffed.

_On second thought, _Raito mused, a devious look crossing his face. Picking up his cell phone, he dialed L's number and smiled when he heard L answer. This would be fun.

-----

It was a foolproof plan. There was a pastry shop right near the hotel, and Raito would give L the cake outside the shop, asking him to meet him at the hotel. This would give L a direct choice in the matter of whether to come or not, hopefully making him further gain Raito's trust. And, of course, cake, plus L, equaled happy L, and happy L plus Raito being the cause of his happiness equaled…well, only time would reveal the sum of that equation.

Raito entered the pastry shop, already debating on what flavor of cake would be best. Strawberry, perhaps. Strawberries also seemed to be quite a weakness of L's.

He ordered a three-tiered strawberry cake, and then hand-wrote a note to stick in the box. It said, in Raito's most flourished script:

Ryuu- 

_I'm sorry about what happened last night. Will this make up for it?_

_If you think you can stand my humble company again, please come to room 427 of the Hilton next door to the shop this is from. I'll be waiting._

Yours always and truly, Yagami Raito 

Raito sniggered slightly at what he had written. Him, the great Kira, being referred to as 'humble company'? How laughable. If only L really knew…

Raito laughed again as he spotted L meandering about near the cake shop. He appeared completely entranced in the cakes on display. Raito wouldn't have been very surprised if he was actually drooling.

He smirked slightly, and then walked forward, towards L. "Uh…Ryu?" he asked timidly, the smirk replaced with an innocently nervous look. "I…I got this for you."

He pushed the box into L's hands and then quickly turned on his heel and race-walked away. L would read the note and then come of his own will, knowing what would probably take place.

But then again, Raito knew L wasn't exactly the bright type, so he may actually not realize what would probably take place.

Raito slowed his pace, strolling grandly into the hotel. This would be a piece of proverbial, and perhaps literal, cake.

----

L stared intently at the box Raito had shoved into his hands. It was light pink and featured the emblem of the cake shop he was currently ogling at. He shook his head slightly. What was Raito up to this time?

He had never expressly caught Raito killing any criminals, but that didn't necessarily mean he wasn't Kira. There were certain of Raito's behaviors that were peculiar, and L just had a gut feeling that Raito and Kira were one in the same.

Still, he was a detective above all else. There was no concrete evidence against Raito, so it mustn't be assumed quite yet that it was actually Raito who was the mass murderer.

L was almost glad there was no proof. It meant Raito might still be innocent, and his attempts at a friendship with L weren't all conniving and fake. Of course, if Raito turned out to be Kira, L would have absolutely no problem in turning him in. That was simply what he did; it was his job.

Turning his attention away from these thoughts, he looked again at the pink box. There was obviously some sort of cake inside, but L was still hesitant to open it. After the night before, what was Raito expecting him to do? Was he playing right into Raito's hands, just asking to be murdered?

L shook his head again. These thoughts were getting him nowhere. The only thing to do was open the box, find out what Raito wanted, and then decide whether he should give him it or not.

L slipped a finger under the flap that kept the box closed. He flicked the lid open, eyes roaming over the box's contents.

It _was_ a cake. A rather delicious looking cake.

L leaned in closer, sniffing. Strawberry, it was strawberry.

Raito had gotten him a strawberry cake, his absolute favorite.

L sighed, gingerly picking up the card taped to the inside of the lid. He read it through several times before deciding his next move.

Raito once again wanted him to come to his hotel room. If it happened anything like last time, Raito would probably try to sweet-talk him. And that could only mean one thing: he did, in fact, want something from L. But was L willing to give the thing Raito seemed to want so badly? And furthermore, what was Raito's motivation in the first place?

L slipped the card into his pocket, using his now free fingers to scoop up some icing. It tasted delightful. Closing his eyes in ecstasy, L began walking towards the hotel. It wouldn't hurt to play along with Raito's little game, at least until he knew exactly what the rules were and why Raito even wanted to play at all.

-----

Raito sniggered menacingly when he heard the knock on the hotel door. Plastering a smile on his face, he opened the door, gesturing for L to come inside. L did so, slipping off his ratty shoes as he entered.

"It's good to see you, Ryuu. I didn't think you'd come!" Raito's voice was full of forced exuberance.

L looked at him, cocking his head to the side. "I rather like games, actually," he said softly.

Raito blinked at the strange response. Games? What the hell? Where had that come from? L was clearly just a little crazy. Raito hadn't played a game since he was small child, unless you count tennis matches. But he had never considered them games. They were much more serious, not something trifle like a child's board game or a round of tag. He certainly wasn't playing one now.

At least Raito was so close to just being rid of the damned fool.

"Well, I had some plates and forks brought up so we could eat the cake together," he finally said, deciding to ignore L's odd comment.

L nodded, handing the box of cake to Raito, who cut it into eight generous-sized pieces. He handed L a fork and plate, setting a piece gently atop it. He had long ago noted the peculiar way L held his eating utensils, and even his cell phone, but it still annoyed him to no end.

He took a piece for himself, trying to suppress this surge of annoyance. It was surprisingly easy, as just at that moment, L looked up and straight into Raito's eyes. This sent a warmth through Raito, something he had never experienced before. Chalking it down to anger at the man, he continued eating his cake.

But there was niggling feeling that it wasn't anger at all. Something closer to…lust, almost.

He bit down hard onto his tongue, trying to dispel the feeling. He had to remain in control of himself and the situation. Without that, there was nothing. Except maybe this strange feeling of lust.

Raito closed his eyes, still trying to regain composure. He certainly did not want to be left alone with L and this feeling. He absolutely had to remain in control. Whatever personal or psychological problems he was having could wait until after he was laughing at L's funeral.

Deciding that perhaps this would be a good time for a little stretch, he suggested the idea to L. Maybe it was just L's own incompetence clouding his thoughts. Fresh air could only do good.

L nodded once, finishing his cake, and followed Raito out the door of the hotel room. Raito looked down at L's feet as they padded through the hallway, noticing they were still shoeless. He took a deep breath, suppressing a scowl at this. Why did he have to annoy Raito so, so much?

_God, this is going to be a long, long night_, Raito thought sullenly.

-----

**A/N: We actually stayed in room 427 at a hotel during Otakon! XD**

**To look forward to in chapter 6:** **Raito snaps (but will it be with lust or anger!), while L finally decides his stand on his "Raito-is-really-Kira" theory!**

**_THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED_! Seriously, we'd never have gotten even this far in the story without all the comments you've given us!**

To the person who asked who's the seme: It's L! Totally. He's _completely_ in control of this relationship. XD


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter is rather special to Ren and I, mostly because of the stairs scene. Ren wrote part of it and then, once again, forced me at gunpoint to write the rest. Whatever happened to the love, Ren! XD Yeah, just so you know, the stairs thing actually happens in a Harry Potter Harry/Draco slash fic too, which Ren is obsessed with. Enough talk! Just enjoy the story!**

**----**

Raito looked out over the Tokyo night-scene, surprised at how brightly lit the city still was, even at this late hour. He was standing at the edge of the building, leaning against the railing that encircled the area. L was standing back a few feet, still at the top of the stairs leading to the roof, the door opened behind him. The hotel's roof provided a most favorable view of the city's nightlife.

Flashing neon lights made the buildings dance with color; flickering street lamps allowed for dark corners where lovers lurked. Only a few distant, twinkling stars were visible in the background, pasted on the dark blue canvas of the sky.

Raito looked away disgustedly. Poetry and imagery were for petty fools too imprudent to get a _real_ job. It was strange that Raito had even had lyrical thoughts such as these in the first place. He wasn't one to dress things up with sweet nothings or pretty words.

Unfortunately, when he looked away from the view, he looked straight at L.

He had been avoiding L's gaze since they arrived at the roof, the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach refusing to dissipate. In fact, it was growing worse by the minute. The poetic thoughts didn't help his increasingly frustrated mood.

But it was now or never, wasn't it? Even if L was an idiot, he couldn't be fooled forever. Eventually even his pathetic excuse for reasoning skills would puzzle out exactly what Raito was doing.

'_And I'll have to get him to submit before then.'_

Raito flinched visibly, prompting a sideways look from L. How could he have thought _that_? The very idea made him nauseous.

Quickly regaining composure, he rephrased the thought:

'_And I'll have to get him to surrender his name before then.'_

Raito realized he was still staring at L, and L was still giving him a strange look, as if questioning his sanity. But then again, Raito was questioning _his own_ sanity. He was starting to have certain…almost lustful…feelings toward that maniac L. Why him, of all people!

It was ridiculous. It was all completely and utterly ridiculous. He was insane; it was as simple as that. He hadn't been getting nearly enough sleep lately, consumed with plans for L's demise. Actually, now that Raito contemplated it, he really hadn't thought about anything or anyone other than L since….since he had met the man.

It was like L had taken over his mind, which was a rather scary thought in itself.

Was it really possible to hate someone so, so much and yet be madly in love with them at the same time? Could you seriously go about obsessing over someone you can't stand being in the same room with?

Raito sighed inwardly and refocused on his surroundings. L was still staring at him patiently, and he was still staring dreamily back at L. _Dreamily_.

What had the once great genius Yagami Raito become, reduced to staring _dreamily_ at another man.

Raito slammed his fist on to the roof's railing, making the entire length of it vibrate. His hand also thrummed unpleasantly from the force of the blow.

'_Enough is enough,' _he thought, his features arranging themselves into the familiar scowl. Something about the familiarity comforted him.

Enough _was_ enough. Whatever mind games L was playing with him would have to end. Raito would not succumb, and he would not have mercy.

"Raito-kun, is something wrong?" L asked abruptly in his sickeningly sweet voice. The scowl plastered on to Raito's face deepened.

"No, Ryuu. Nothing at all is wrong," he hissed, suddenly overcome with a blind, murderous rage. L was naïve and foolish, and only served to complicate Raito's plans at every turn. He wanted nothing more than to kill the stupid, stupid man. To punch him and kick him into submission, to make him writhe in pain.

Raito closed his eyes and let out a low breath, trying to dispel the anger coursing through him. This effort was ruined, however, by L's next comment.

"You look almost…lovesick."

Before Raito knew what was happening, he was nose to nose with L, shoving out his arms to give L a rough push. As if in slow motion, L fell backwards from Raito's hands, the force of the blow propelling him through the open door and down the stairs. L's body hit the fourth step with a dull thud.

Raito almost snorted. How could L be so fragile as to be thrown down the stairs by that? But the snort died in his throat when he saw the look on L's face.

The other man's features were screwed up in an expression of bewildered pain that sent a jolt of guilt through Raito. _Guilt? _No, that couldn't possibly be right…

A flurry of thoughts rushed through his head, the most prominent of which was '_Dammit, he better be ok._' But why would he be asking himself a question such as that? What the hell did he care if the bastard was hurt? Hadn't he just _wanted_ him to hurt?

"No," Raito whispered, completely positive that he was losing his grip on reality. He was only interested in L's safety because otherwise he would never get the satisfaction of killing the man himself. '_There, that must be the reason!_' he thought, even as a small part of his brain knew it was just a rationalization for an entirely different reason.

But, if this was the reason behind his recent spasms of emotion, perhaps it was ok to let a little bit of these feelings on to L.

Armed with the boldness this new outlook gave him, Raito hurried down the stairs, a look of panic on every inch of his face. "Ryuuzaki!" he gasped, reaching L's side in seconds. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Ryuuzaki, I didn't mean to push you, are you ok?"

_Lies_, Raito thought, trying desperately to make himself believe they really were. Well, he _had_ deliberately pushed the bloke, there was no debating that. But had he meant to hurt him…?

L looked up at the worry exuding from Raito and smiled faintly. "I don't think you are Kira," he mumbled.

"What?" Raito asked, genuinely puzzled. Perhaps L had mistaken the look of worry over his new feelings for worry over L. Because, naturally, it wasn't really worry over L…was it?

"Kira would never show such pure concern for me," L elaborated with a disarming smile. Raito's stomach lurched in a not unpleasant way. L tried to gracefully get to his feet, but his ankle collapsed on him and he would have fallen if Raito hadn't caught him.

"I think my foot broke," L said anxiously in a small voice, and Raito practically carried him up the stairs to level ground.

"Here, climb on to my back," Raito ordered, and L complied, carefully hooking his arms over Raito's shoulders and pulling himself on to Raito's back. "I'll examine your foot in the hotel room, and we can get some ice for it."

It was the least Raito could do, really. And it would further gain L's trust. L had just stated that he didn't think Raito could be Kira, which should have been a huge victory for Raito. And yet…he couldn't actually be worried about L?

No. No he couldn't. He could never worry about the tall, slender man. Never, ever about that raven-haired sexpot who's shirt clung to him in the just the right way as to reveal the contours of his waist and hips. Never, ever, ever.

Raito cringed as he realized just how warm the man on his back was. L was pressed so closely to him, his arms draped around Raito's sides, his warm breath tickling Raito's neck…

"Thank you," L muttered suddenly from his place on Raito's back, interrupting Raito's lurid thoughts.

"You're welcome," he said, cringing slightly at the gentle tone his voice had taken on. Seriously now, what was going on with him? He was acting just as foolish as L. It had to be contagious.

Once again a scowl contorted his features. It was L that was supposed to succumb, not him. It was L that was supposed to be seduced. A low growl escaped his throat when he suddenly realized the true reason behind his feelings.

He had been seduced. By L.

Raito's eyes widened imperceptibly as the meaning of L's prior words became clear, hitting him full-force. "_I rather like games…"_

So Raito had indeed been playing a game, a game by L's rules. In fact, he himself had been played.

For some reason, this thought made him angrier than anything had ever before. '_If you want to play, oh will I play, Ryuu dearest_,' he thought, licking his lips. '_And the game will be oh so good._'

The rules were changing, and Raito was going to be the one to define this new set. No more fooling around. L _would_ be his.

Raito's scowl lifted a little at the thought of having L as his, to do whatever he pleased with. Instead, a malicious smile replaced it. L would be his, his to hurt and finally kill. He _would_ be his.

And yet, amid the conjured images of L's torment, a much more sensual picture crept in. If L was his he could do anything to him, right…?

Raito walked the last few feet into their room, setting L gently down on the bed. His hand moved to L's already shoeless and sockless foot, stroking the already swelling area, which elicited a soft moan from L.

"Don't worry, Ryuu, this won't hurt," he said in as temperate a voice as was possible from him. L only moaned again in response. "I'll get some ice and then we can head over to the hospital."

L nodded weakly.

As Raito turned away, his malicious smile returned.

----

Back on the bed, L shook his head, trying to clear it. The pain in his foot was enough to muddle up his thoughts, and he was having trouble understanding exactly what was going on. Raito had looked genuinely concerned after his fall, but the question was really why he had pushed him in the first place. Raito had also seemed anxious about L's safety, and was acting uncharacteristically gentle. What was his motivation for this?

What concerned L the most was the hint of a smile on his face as he left L on the bed. That certainly didn't bode well, knowing Raito. He hardly ever showed any sort of pleasure at anything, much less at getting ice for a wounded colleague.

But what if L's "lovesick" comment has hit deeper than he had meant it to? That would explain the push down the stairs, and even the concern, panic, and gentleness Raito showed afterwards. But there was still that hint of a malicious smile…

L pulled his good leg up to his chest, hugging it close. At that moment, the concern on Raito's face was enough to conclude he couldn't possibly be the serial killer Kira. It had certainly dispelled several of his doubts about Raito. But there was _still_ that hint of a malicious smile…

"I suppose this must continue for a little longer," he muttered darkly.

Raito entered the room again, and L looked innocently up at him. Their eyes met for a split second, and in that moment they both glimpsed all they needed to know.

The games had begun.

----

**A/N: Since all you dedicated readers are lovely, I have a little treat for you: if you guys can come up with some cool ideas for Raito's future plots to seduce L, I'll consider writing some and making the fic a little longer than it's planned 10 chapters. Please, well thought-out suggestions only. There are no rules or restrictions, excepting that it must keep the characters in-character.**

**If you have any ideas, email them to with the subject "DN FIC IDEAS" by October 1st. I'll credit the people whose ideas I pick, but please remember that I'm the one who's going to be writing these. If you want to keep an idea for your own story, don't send it!**

**Thanks for any entries, all reviews/comments, and just for reading this in the first place! COMMENTS ARE A WRITER'S LIFEBLOOD! XD**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I quite obviously own none of these characters, nor am trying to infringe upon the copyright or make money off of this. The rights belong to Viz, unfortunately.

**A/N: Oh man, this is my cliché chapter. You are warned! XD As you read, you may notice that this chapter is far better quality than most, all thanks to my awesome friend and beta Annie, also known on ffn as clamjam.**

**3 DAYS UNTIL DN COMES OUT IN ENGLISH! (dies from anticipation)**

-----

"You got hurt in a freak tennis accident?" Matsuda asked, slightly skeptical. Even if L was smarter than him, he wasn't about to believe something quite so far-fetched.

L nodded gravely. "My ability at tennis has been increasing since my games with Raito; the level of play is so much higher. Unfortunately, the number of injuries sustained in such matches also increases."

Matsuda nodded. L could be odd, but he was still an unrivaled genius. Unrivaled, that is, by all except perhaps Raito.

Raito overheard the scene, turning his face away with scorn and narrowing his eyes. L was a complete Neanderthal. A tennis accident? Who would use such a lame excuse as that?

"Yagami-kun has a very good backhand, don't you?" L said, dragging Raito into the conversation.

Raito turned around, trying to suppress his death-glare. The result was a rather pained scowl. "Don't you think we should get back to work, Ryuuzaki?" he said through gritted teeth.

L smiled slightly, though there was no hint of it in his voice. "You're so serious, Yagami-kun."

Raito grimaced frostily back. "Catching Kira is of utmost importance. I have no time to fool around."

'_No time in which to fool around? Because you must catch Kira or because, as Kira, you must hide yourself from being caught?' _L thought, keeping his face completely expressionless.

Matsuda watched the interaction in awe. Some sort of tacit exchange had just occurred on an intellectual level far above his own. Something had happened, although he knew he didn't have a chance of comprehending exactly what. Shaking his head, he turned from the observation room. The whole transaction was rather beyond him.

Now alone, Raito and L looked at each other intently for a moment. Something clenched in Raito's stomach as L's bottomless black eyes peered into his own. He suddenly found the oppressive silence nearly unbearable and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry about the stairs, Ryuu," Raito said in an effort to break the silence.

Of course he couldn't really be sorry. It was all an act in order to seduce L. That's what it always had been and what it always would be. Even if the man was drop-dead gorgeous, he was still the enemy and would have to be eliminated at all costs.

After weeks of doubting his feelings towards L, he had finally come to terms with them. The push down the stairs and subsequent rush of emotions was enough for him to realize what was really plaguing him.

Pure, unadulterated lasciviousness.

Now that he was finally out of the denial stage, he could move onto much more productive things and set aside the feelings connected with L. Of course, his plan now had a new goal in addition to the old one of simply killing L: to seduce him first. Raito felt his win would be empty if he was to kill the fool without much trouble. That would be far too boring for someone of his intellectual abilities.

"That's fine, Yagami-kun," L said in his usual, mild and unemotial voice. Since the stair incident, he had once again taken to calling Raito "Yagami-kun". Although L had admitted that Raito probably wasn't Kira, Raito couldn't help but think the informality of L's speech was a huge step backwards.

Raito forced his face into a look of concern. "If you really think that, then I'd like to invite you out to dinner for tomorrow." He tried to keep his voice level, but secretly he was exceptionally nervous. And this scared him, although he'd never actually admit to being scared.

He had never ever been nervous before, at least not over something like this. It was almost like asking someone out on a date, which he had never done before, in truth, but he _had_ been in much more intimate situations. Misa often forced herself on him, but those situations were never pleasant and often resulted in the rise of Raito's temper.

Raito looked intently at L, trying to will away any further feelings for the man. Lust was where he drew the line.

"Well, I suppose. If you think it would be beneficial," L replied slowly, not sure of what to make of this offer. It could be dangerous to blindly accept anything Raito gave him. Raito's motivation was never quite clear.

Raito's face cracked into a smile, laced with a slight smirk. "Great! We can go after work, since tomorrow's Friday."

L nodded his agreement, and they both went back to work. Sensing the conclusion of the tense moment, Matsuda padded lightly back into the room, glancing gingerly between Raito and L. Although Raito looked much happier and less worried than moments before, L looked much more troubled.

----

Raito cleared his throat, trying almost desperately to ignore how hard his heart was pounding. He scrunched his eyes shut, attempting to regain his composure. It was just dinner. Just dinner, during which he would seduce L. And, perhaps if things went well, they would get a hotel room, although hotels had never gone well for them.

He looked up at the man across from him, noticing how the soft candlelight played on L's features, accentuating the fine curves of his cheeks.

"I'm sorry?" Raito said for the fourth time that evening. He had been paying far too much attention to L's gorgeous visage to gather what the man was actually saying. Not that it really mattered; the featherbrained L could never actually have anything consequential to say.

"I asked, Yagami-kun, if we could go to that delicious pastry shop," L stated, as patient and impassive as ever.

A vein in Raito's face pulsed with annoyance. He wasn't nearly as tolerant as L. All the man ever wanted was dessert! If he wasn't careful, he'd lose that delectable figure. But if that did happen, at least Raito wouldn't be so entranced with the idiot anymore and things could back to the way they were when Raito simply wanted him dead.

"Yes, Ryuu. Yes, we can go."

For the first time that evening, L's countenance lit up. This caused him to look even more sexy, and Raito felt another twinge in the pit of his stomach. He shifted uncomfortably in the restaurant chair, trying to block out the images of L's body spread seductively on a bed. Or better yet, chained to a bed.

Raito choked on the water he was sipping. He…no…that just wasn't…he just was not going to think things like…things like _that_. It was all about mastery and control. He had lost control, and now it was time to regain it.

----

"I had a very enjoyable time tonight, Yagami-kun." L's voice played off his lips like sweet music, every syllable beautiful in it's own right.

"Yes…yes…" Raito muttered, transfixed

"Thank you for the cake," L said, oblivious to the awkward silence that had just descended on them.

"Yeah, anything for you." He had absolutely no idea what he was saying; he simply wanted to taste and touch and ravish the lips of the raven-haired man.

"Goodnight, Raito," said L definitively, clutching his box of leftover cake to his chest.

Raito nodded distractedly, and waited for L to turn around and leave. They were still standing outside the pastry shop.

L obligingly turned, but just as he started to limp away, Raito called out to him. The use of his first name had been intoxicating, and he was starting to think he wasn't quite intoxicated enough yet for this type of thought. "Would you like to get a drink?"

L gave him a strange look. "Drink?"

Suddenly Raito remembered who he was dealing with, as the old enmity flooded back. L's innocent idiocy at blasted him back.

"Yes, a drink," he said distastefully, instantly regretting his plea to spend more time with the dolt.

L said nothing for a moment, but then nodded.

Raito turned swiftly around and started a brisk walk towards a bar he knew from Misa. She frequented such places, claiming to find them "enjoyable," although Raito could not understand in the slightest how.

He didn't look back to check if L was following.

----

Black eyes floated hazily before Raito. In fact, the whole bar was a bit hazy. He couldn't quite remember what had prompted him to come here in the first place, only that he was here now, and so was L, Mr. Sexy.

Dimly Raito knew he must be quite drunk if he was referring to L as "Mr. Sexy."

In all truth, he had never had liquor before. He considered it a waste of good time and brain cells, and usually looked with scorn on anyone stupid enough to become so inebriated as to lose all sense of themselves. But then again, he usually wasn't in lust with the most infuriatingly dim-witted man _ever_.

L sipped his sake casually, his legs pulled up tight against his chest, and observed the unusual spectacle before him.

Raito was sloshed off his ass, an event that would surely never happen again if Raito could help it. L watched attentively, taking in every detail.

"Howmanoodreen?" Raito slurred.

L cocked his head to the side and took another sip of sake. "I apologize, but I didn't quite catch that," he said coolly.

Raito swayed on the barstool. He was still sentient enough to realize how unintelligible his speech was, and still proud enough to be quite disturbed by it. To avoid saying anything more and hearing that disgustingly drunken voice, Raito picked up his glass of sake and drank deeply.

As the rice wine stung his throat, he realized drinking more probably wasn't the smartest thing he had ever done. In fact, it was undoubtedly the dumbest.

L coughed lightly. "I think you should go home, Raito."

Raito's already unsteady stomach lurched at the sound of his name off of L's dazzling lips.

"I…I…" Raito stuttered, trying to remember what he was going to say before L's mouth had caught his attention.

L's face softened sympathetically. Raito was more vulnerable than L had ever seen him. "I'll help you," he said, slipping his feet off the stool and standing up, slightly favoring his left foot. He reached out a hand to Raito, who stared at it blankly for several seconds.

Raito's blank gaze slid up the man's slender wrist to his finely formed collar bone, and then higher. It was like tunnel vision; all he could see were L's lips, moistened from sake. Closer and closer they loomed, and suddenly Raito was standing right in front of them. The temptation was far too strong for a smashed Raito to resist.

With an impassioned fervor, Raito pressed his lips against L's, savoring the taste of saliva and sake. Out of sheer surprise, L's mouth fell slightly open, but Raito took it as a signal and pushed in with is tongue. He ran it ruthlessly around L's mouth, smashing his lips against L's to gain more access. Before he could accomplish anything more, though, he felt a sharp push from both his front and his back, causing him to wince in pain.

L and the manager of the bar had simultaneously pushed him in different directions. Apparently he _wasn't_ still proud enough to be disgusted by his drunkenness, seeing as he had just kissed his nemesis in a public bar. The manager, however, seemed quite sober enough to be disgusted at this behavior, and was now shouting quickly in Japanese. Taking the not-so-subtle hint, Raito lurched out of the bar, feeling decidedly sick.

Just as he crossed the threshold, an overwhelming sense of nausea hit him like a brick and he fainted unceremoniously on the spot.

----

**A/N: I had lots of trouble writing this chapter, mostly because I've had an amazing amount of schoolwork. Because of the copious number of assignments I face on a day to day basis, I plan to have this fic finished by 2006. Hopefully. Then Ren and I can move on to bigger and better things! XD **

**THANKS FOR 50+ REVIEWS AND 4.5k+ HITS! Reviews are always loved beyond the amount anything should be! Seriously, though, every time I check my email and see I have a review, it makes me extremely happy and then guilty because I don't update enough. ALL REVIEWERS GET A (VIRTUAL) COOKIE!**


	8. Birthday Interlude

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters (duh?). Viz does. No infringement intended.**

**EXTRA SPECIAL BIRTHDAY GIFT CHAPTER! This is a little interlude from the storyline especially for Ren's birthday (read AN below), so just enjoy it and we'll get back to the (non-existent) plot in the next chapter! Erg…it turned out to longer than I originally planned…**

**A/N: Well, today, Oct 30th, is Ren's birthday! She's finally the same age as me! XD So, in honor of that, I gift her this birthday fic. Thanksthanksthanks for all the wonderful times we've had together. I'm so glad that I got to know you (which was through anime, actually)! I know this crappy fake chapter isn't anywhere near worth how awesome you are, but it's the thought that counts, right? XD**

**Waaarning: Has not been beta'd because I'm a procrastinator. XD  
**

**---**

L's eyes widened in surprise as the UPS man stood awkwardly on the edge of the busy office lobby, holding out his clipboard and paperwork for L to sign.

"This here's for a Ryuuzaki-san. Would that be you?"

L nodded slightly, ogling the light pink package in nestled in the crook of the deliveryman's arm. Instead of answering, he picked up the proffered pen, holding it gingerly between his thumb and forefinger and clumsily signing his alias. The man inspected the signature for a moment and then, apparently finding it satisfactory despite his costumer's rather strange appearance, handed L the ribbon-wrapped box.

L took it, gazing at it as if mesmerized. He rarely ever received packages or gifts in the mail, as no one outside of headquarters knew of his birthday.

Well, his supposed birthday. He actually had no idea what his real birthday was, and didn't much care. Matsuda had managed to wheedle the theoretical date out of him at one point, though, and he had deemed it so inconsequential that he might as well tell him.

L walked with the package out of the building's lobby, leaving the UPS man to dismiss himself.

---

"Ohhh! Ryuuzaki-kun got a birthday present!" Misa shouted happily when L returned to the office with the package.

Raito glared at the exuberant woman. "Don't be silly. Who would send Ryuuzaki a birthday present?"

Misa turned towards Raito, pouting. "You know, Raito-kun, we should have given Ryuuzaki a present too! Why didn't you tell me it was his birthday!"

Raito's glare hardened. "We?" he said in a tone full of his usual skepticism.

"Raitooo-kun! Since we're going to be married eventually, I think we can safely buy presents together to give to a mutual friend," Misa whined in a voice Raito couldn't help but outwardly loathe.

L ignored the bickering couple and instead focused on the box in front of him. He pulled gently at the neatly tied ribbon, watching as it slid over itself and untied. Slipping a finger under the lid, he quietly pried it open. His eyes glanced over the contents in wonder as a small sound of delight escaped his lips.

Misa turned at the sound. "Oh my! It's your favorite, Ryuuzaki-kun! How wonderful!" she squealed.

Raito's face softened in surprise for a moment, but then swiftly returned to its usual glare.

A small smile graced L's lips as he gazed adoringly at the cake packed inside the box. The top of the cake was graced with the words "Happy Birthday Ryuu" written in light pink icing on top of the chocolate frosting.

"It's…it's beautiful," L muttered, still entranced.

Raito snorted derisively before he could stop himself, attracting Misa's attention.

"Is something wrong, Raito-kun?"

Raito shook his head stiffly, but said nothing in response. Misa looked between him and L curiously for a moment before finally turning back to L. "Was there a card or a note with it?"

L shook his head and leaned in closer to the cake, so that his nose was almost touching the icing.

"Ohhh, Ryuuzaki, or should I say _Ryuu_, has a secret admirer!" Misa said in her usual chipper voice.

Raito caught himself before making another noise of disgust.

"Ryuuzaki-kun, would you like me to cut you a slice?" Misa asked nicely.

L's eyes lit up and he moved away from the cake, allowing Misa room to maneuver, although he never once removed his eyes from the gift.

"Here, Ryuuzaki-kun," she said as she handed L a generously sized portion. When she moved to give Raito his slice, however, the man turned suddenly around.

"No, thank you," he said through gritted teeth as he stomped out of the room unexcused. He had no idea why he was acting this way. L had received a cake from some mysterious admirer. So what! Raito shouldn't have any opinion on the subject, other than disgust that someone would actually waste their money on L.

And yet, he realized as he paced the hallway outside headquarters, he was pretty pissed. Who would have the gall to send L a cake with "Happy Birthday Ryuu" written atop it. _Ryuu_, for godssakes! Raito was the only one allowed to call L that! That was Raito's nickname for him!

Raito was completely unaware of the deep scowl plastered onto his face until he bumped into Matsuda in the hallway and the other man drew back from him in alarm.

"What!" Raito said a little too forcefully when he saw the look of worried fear on Matsuda's face.

"Uhh, nothing Yagami-kun," Matsuda replied in a wavering voice, very frightened by the intense look in Raito's eyes.

Raito narrowed his eyes a little more at Matsuda, making Matsuda cringe again. "I thought so," he said venomously, and then turned around and continued to the building's elevator.

Matsuda was left blinking in alarm. "What's gotten into him?"

----

Raito slammed his fist down onto his desk. The only possible person who would send L a cake with "Happy Birthday Ryuu" on it would have to be someone in the office, or at least close enough to L to know his birthday and nickname. And since L didn't appear to know anybody closely at all outside the office, it must be someone in the building.

_There was a traitor in his midst._

Raito made a mental list of the suspects. There was Misa, Matsuda, his father, Watari, Mogi, and perhaps even Aber or Weddy. Aber and Weddy were unlikely, seeing as they didn't have any personal contact with L, while Mogi and Matsuda were also unlikely for the same reason. Misa was a definite no, as she would have told Raito about it beforehand, as she did everything else. His father…well, that was just a simple no. The man was too crass to send someone a birthday cake. Especially someone like L.

Now Watari. It wasn't quite clear as to what his true relationship with L really was. He could easily know the man's birth date, but he definitely did not, and would not, refer to L as "Ryuu."

Once again, Raito was at a dead end. In anger, he pulled out the death note and scribbled down the name of a criminal he had been meaning to kill, envisioning the man's face in his mind's eye. Next to the name Raito wrote, "gets pushed into pool of man-eating sharks", which he decided was a fairly appropriate way to constructively release his frustration.

Sighing, he pulled a hand up to massage his temple. Who was acquainted with L besides those in the office? No one, as far as Raito knew. L spent almost all his time in the building, and hadn't ever even had a single friend, as he had confided in Raito.

And then the answer came to Raito in a flash of brilliance. It was those infernal shinigami! Both Ryuuk and Rem had always despised him! They would know of how he referred to L as Ryuu, and also L's birth date, since L had let it slip after the Christmas party, which Ryuuk had been present at.

Raito turned around in rage, but Ryuuk was nowhere to be found. In fact, Raito remembered, the shinigami hadn't been with him when he left headquarters. Angrily grabbing up the death note, he stuffed it into his briefcase and headed back to the office.

Ryuuk would pay. The idiot death god had absolutely no right to give L a cake when he explicitly knew it would be detrimental to Raito's plans. If everybody went around giving L cake, Raito would have absolutely no means to bribe the bastard!

Somewhere inside himself, Raito knew this alone was not enough to spark such intense feelings in him and there must be more to the whole issue. But he pushed this thought to the back of his mind as neared the office.

----

Raito entered headquarters with a completely fake smile. "Hello, Misa, Matsuda, Ryuu," he said cordially. Misa beamed, while Matsuda gaped and L did nothing at all, since he was still entranced in his birthday cake.

Raito spared a quick glance to the back of the room, noticing that Ryuuk was indeed standing off by himself in the corner, apparently highly amused by the scene in front of him.

"Ryuu, may I have a slice of that delicious looking cake?" Raito said in his most pleasant voice, ignoring the lurking shinigami.

L looked up dreamily and nodded. "Of course, Yagami-kun." Misa walked over and cut out a small sliver, then handed it to Raito.

"You look happy now, Raito-kun. Misa was worried when you left in a huff!" Misa said sweetly.

Raito bit the inside of his cheek. He hated that habit of hers, referring to herself as "Misa". And he did _not_ leave in a huff! He left in as dignified a manner as possible under the circumstances! How the hell was he supposed to be calm when the shinigami were playing sordid jokes on him!

Raito chose to ignore her and spoke again to L. "So, you have no idea who sent you this cake, Ryuu?" he said, still keeping the pleasant lightness in his voice.

L shook his head just as a snicker was heard near the back of the room. Raito didn't turn around; that would be too obvious. Ryuuk could have his little bit of fun. He'd get the death god later. Ohhh yes, he would get him slowly and painfully.

Matsuda spoke up from behind them. "You honestly don't know? The great detective L is stumped?" he said with a little awe.

A smile crept onto both L's and Raito's faces, though neither turned around to face Matsuda. L would never know, because he didn't know about the existence of the shinigami. Well, maybe Raito had to give Ryuuk a little credit. At least the death god had done something to stump that pompous man L, who thought he could solve everything.

"Well," L said, licking a bit of frosting off his finger, "I think I might have an idea now."

Raito looked up at L in surprise. No, the man was just wrong. There was absolutely no possible way L could know about Ryuuk.

"Raito, thank you for the cake."

Raito's head snapped up. "What?" he said, his voice losing all composure. Why the hell did L think Raito, of all people, would send him a birthday cake?

Misa's eyes widened. "Ohh, Raito-kun, you should've told me you got him the cake! Here I was thinking we neglected Ryuuzaki's birthday when you really got him a present!"

Raito turned around to glare at her. "I did _not_ get him a cake," he hissed so only she could hear.

She furrowed her brow. "Well, then who did!" she exclaimed far too loudly. Raito gave her a death glare and then inclined his head to the back of the room. Misa, not catching the secrecy hint, whipped around and spotted Matsuda.

"Matsuda-san! No way!"

Raito closed his eyes in frustration. Misa was quite the annoyance. Did she really have to be so obvious about every single thing she did? Of course, modesty in any sense wasn't a word in her dictionary. And not only had she been stupid, she had also been wrong! Trust Misa to get everything wrong…

Matsuda's face held surprise for a moment, but then he suddenly cracked a grin. "You caught me, Misamisa! To believe that Ryuuzaki couldn't guess but Misamisa could!"

It was now Raito's turn to widen his eyes. What was Matsuda saying! _He'd_ bought the cake for L?

L was not smiling, but still seemed amused. "No, I knew it was you too Matsuda-san. You have a habit of ordering this type of cake, as I observed at the Christmas party," he said calmly.

Raito's eyes widened further. L too!

No. No. They were wrong. They just didn't know the truth, because neither L nor Matsuda knew of Ryuuk.

But Matsuda had absolutely no reason to lie…

Raito stood up slowly and walked coolly out the door, sure to not "leave in a huff" again. Inside, though, he was seething. Bested again, and this time by that idiot _Matsuda_ of all people.

As he neared the door, Misa called out to him. "Raito-kun! You didn't eat your cake!"

Raito let out a low breath. "No, thank you," he said in the deadliest voice he could conjure. He then proceeded to slam the door behind him.

Suddenly, an imperceptibly small smile graced L's lips. "Thank you, that was the best birthday present ever," he said to Matsuda and Misa.

They both laughed in response. "I've never seen Yagami-kun that worked up before!" Matsuda said with a laugh.

"Ohh, are you sure that was ok to set him up like that, Ryuuzaki! He looked angry!" Misa said in a concerned voice.

Matsuda answered for him. "Yeah, Misamisa, he'll get over it! What I really want to know is how you knew Raito would react like that over you getting sent a simple birthday cake!"

The smile flitted across L's face once again. Instead of answering, he took another bite of his cake.

----

In the back of the room, Ryuuk was also smiling. It paid to be invisible. He could hear eavesdrop very effectively, and often knew when and where the most amusing things were going to happen.

---

**Lauren, the amount of trust and love you give me is truly touching, and I just hope I can be as good a friend to you as you are to me.**


	9. CHAPTER 8

**AWWW LIZ THANK YOU SOO MUCH! I RUV YOU. LETS GET MARRIED….in connecticut!**

**But now the birthday interlude will confuse people! They'll have to go reread chapter 6 before they read chapter 8! Or something. we left off at the drunk bar funtimes, right? Do you still want me to post this? Whatever, I'm posting it. i'll pretend your birthday interlude has nothing to do with the plot. Banzaiiiiiiiiiiiii!**

**P.S. dunno if the l337 will work. likes to eat up stuff. Teehee.**

**P.P. S. liz, the cake in the last chapter was delicious, but it tasted kind of like Microsoft word. I think you used too much times new roman or something. **

"Raito…" Raito heard L say in an exasperated voice. He slowly became aware of the fact that he was leaning heavily on someone's shoulder, and they were half-dragging him into an elevator.

"L?" Raito queried groggily. He had a vague feeling that he should be feeling uncomfortable and awkward around L, but his mind was much to fuzzy and warm for him to think properly about why that might be the case.

"You're drunk," L informed him disapprovingly, propping him up against the wall of the elevator and turning to contemplate the vast column of buttons to find the right floor number.

"You're sexy," Raito countered in a voice that was surprisingly coherent.

When he noticed that L was speechless, he felt a rush of victory. He'd outwitted L so wittingly that L could not find a suitable witty report…retort. Witty. Hmm, it was getting harder to think straight. Whatever. What mattered was, clearly, L no match for him when it came to their verbal spats. In the end, Raito would always come out victorious, and L would always be left pushing blinking buttons in elevators. This pleased Raito greatly.

"1 7h1nk j00 n331) 70 5l33p 0ff 4ll 7h47 54k3," L concluded suddenly, after an awkward pause.

Raito frowned. He had simply not understood a word of what L had just said. Not one word. In fact, his head was feeling a little funny, there was some odd buzzing going on, and everything seemed a little too loud.

"n0! 1)0n7 5l11)3 70 73h fl00r!" L exclaimed, when Raito started gravitating towards the floor at an alarmingly fast rate. L leapt forward and caught Raito just before he hit the floor.

"L…I don't understand what you're…talking. Speaking. Saying," Raito chided, though that wasn't very important anymore, now that he was in L's arms.

"R4170, 1 4m g01ng 70 74k3 j00 70…" L began, but that was all Raito heard before he blacked out again.

----------------

Somebody was talking _much_ too loud. It pounded against Raito's eardrums and made his head feel as if it would split open. Really now, they needed to shut up.

With this thought in mind, Raito grudgingly opened his eyes, wincing as fluorescent light hit his face. The nerves in the back of his eyes seemed to be on fire, and the fuzzy voice was still talking incessantly.

"Shut _up_," Raito hissed, moving haphazardly into a sitting position. He still couldn't see anything; the unbearably bright light obscured his vision.

"Ah, Yagami-kun, you're awake!" he heard Matsuda say cheerfully.

Raito simply wanted to hit him. What the hell was there to be cheerful about? He didn't even know where he was, nor why he had such a terrible headache.

Before he could cuss the dolt out, however, another more loathsome voice spoke.

"Good morning, Yagami-kun," L said evenly.

Suddenly L's face swam into view as Raito's eyes adjusted to the light, and the memories of the night before flooded back.

Shit. He'd gotten drunk. And then he'd…he'd kissed L.

Raito had a sudden urge to brush his teeth.

L seemed to notice the death glare Raito sent at him, but mercifully did not ask any questions in his usual idiotic way. Instead, he turned around and walked out of the room, which Raito now recognized to be their headquarters.

L must have brought him here after their little…incident…last night. L had no home to speak of, so this would be the logical place, especially if he didn't want the chief to find out where his son had been all night.

Despite his enmity of L, Raito was a little relieved at this. The last thing he needed were questions about his outings. It seemed that L had given him this little mercy.

What surprised Raito more, though, was that L hadn't gloated over his victory. Raito had gotten drunk, something he never thought he'd do, then kissed the man, and then passed out, all over L. If Raito were in L's place, he'd never let L get away with it. He'd revel until L was dead!

But he wasn't L, Raito supposed. He just wasn't anything like that man.

He was _much_ smarter.

Matsuda interrupted Raito's musings. "So, what exactly did you two do last night?"

Raito's head snapped over to focus on Matsuda's face, eyeing him with contempt. "Nothing," he said in a venomous tone.

Matsuda seemed to completely miss this tone. "Oh no, Yagami-kun! I've seen that look before! The way you look at Ryuuzaki, I mean. You don't even look at Misamisa that way!" Matsuda laughed.

Raito, however, was not amused. "What exactly are you suggesting, Matsuda-san?" His tone could've shattered stone.

Once again, Matsuda was unaware of the threat in Raito's voice. He chuckled to himself. "I mean that, well, Misa is pretty hot, you know, and she drapes herself all over you, but you never seem to respond at all. You told as at the Christmas party after we got you drunk that you two haven't, you know, done it yet."

Raito narrowed his eyes a little. That was the Christmas party he had _pretended_ to be drunk at, thinking it would butter L up to reveal his name later. He assumed that drunk people would babble about things they shouldn't, and thought this was an appropriately un-important detail to speak of. Apparently it wasn't, as it was now back, biting him in the ass.

"And what does that have to do with anything?" Raito was now more than un-amused. He knew exactly where Matsuda was going to take this, and was almost daring him to go there. Matsuda couldn't possibly have the guts to accuse the brilliant and ruthless Raito of something like _that_.

Apparently he did. "Well, Yagami-kun…you and Ryuuzaki seem pretty close. And you and Misa have never gotten anywhere beyond hugs and maybe a tight-lipped kiss or two. And Misa is, simply put, irresistible, and yet you seem much more intent on Ryuuzaki. Like I said, I've seen the way you look at him." Matsuda face was soft, almost sympathetic, which only made Raito despise him more.

"What did you just insinuate?" Raito hissed, his whole body emulating the rage he was feeling at such a suggestion.

Matsuda was a little shocked at Raito's violent reaction. "Yagami-kun, I didn't mean to—"

"No," Raito interrupted, keeping his voice even yet deadly. "I know what you meant. And that has to be the most revolting thing I have ever heard."

Matsuda's eyes were wide with alarm, so wide that Raito realized he usually didn't behave this way in front of his coworkers. They expected him to be the innocent, well mannered young man.

Hell, L was making him go crazy. He was losing his grip on himself. Damn that stupid man.

Raito forced his face to crack into a smile, as if everything had just been a joke. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, Matsuda-san! You take things so seriously!" He forced a laugh for good measure.

Matsuda blinked in confusion at the sudden mood swing Raito had gone through. "Er…yeah. I guess I do…" he said, still shaking from the intensity Raito's previous tone.

Raito laughed again and stood up to leave the room, swaying slightly as the pounding in his head returned. "It's just the hang-over, that's all…" he muttered, rationalizing as much to Matsuda as to himself.

-----

**LIZ WROTE MOST OF THIS. I JUST WROTE THE FIRST PAGE. THE END. **


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey, because you guys are so awesome and gave us 100 reviews, here's a little holiday present: chapter 9! **

**Enjoy, and reviewers get like…seven thousand virtual cookies this time. Thanks SO MUCH for 100+ reviews! You guys are awesome! Thanks especially to Metal-Bubble, who gave us our 100th!**

**P.S.- I started a general DN forum, so please check it out and post a topic or something! XD It's all empty and lonely...  
**

-----

Chapter 9

Raito wandered to the office's bathroom, head still pounding from his killer hangover. He gently closed the bathroom door behind himself, trying not to create any loud noises to further upset his fragile head.

Leaning over the sink, he splashed water onto his face. What had gotten into him? First, he'd gotten drunk, and then he'd completely forgotten himself in front of his coworkers.

And, above all of his other failures, L still hadn't been seduced.

Raito looked up into the mirror above the sink, droplets of water still dripping from his face. There had to be some reason that L wasn't responding. The man was only human, after all, and Raito knew from experience that most other humans had an extreme amount of trouble resisting his charms and devastatingly good looks.

Raito had tried everything. He had played with L, to try and get him to relax, which had, needless to say, failed miserably. He had given the man cake. Raito had even made completely blatant passes at L, and invited him to a hotel room alone. Twice.

And yet L seemed completely oblivious of, or at least apathetic towards, Raito's advances.

This was something Raito simply couldn't understand. If he had been in L's place, he would have been _all over_ himself.

He studied his face in the mirror for another moment.

And then it came to him.

Raito and L were two totally different people, and what turned on Raito probably far from pleased L.

But that left the question, what exactly did please L?

Another flash of brilliance, and this answer also came to Raito.

L didn't seem to like anyone at all, or be particularly taken with anyone. But, perhaps if he were to meet a man like himself…someone who acted as idiotic as him, he would be completely ensnared in their charms.

Raito watched himself in the mirror as a wicked grin slowly spread across his face.

His plan, his final attempt at seducing L into forfeiting his name, was finally forming.

-----

L was sitting quietly in his usual chair, knees pulled up against his chest, thumb in mouth, when Raito sauntered up to him looking decidedly strange.

"Hello, Ryuu," Raito said, his tone slightly more apathetic than usual.

L's eyes swept over him. "Hello, Yagami-kun," he said, wary despite his calm tone. What scheme was Raito plotting this time?

Raito didn't respond, instead pulling a chair up next to L and sitting awkwardly down.

For a moment, Raito battled fiercely with himself. Could he really swallow his pride and superior breeding enough to sit like the monkey that was L?

Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, Raito visibly relaxed his normally impeccable posture and forced his legs up onto the chair, sitting in a perfect imitation of L.

L blinked in surprise. He definitely had not expected Raito to begin his scheme by doing _that_. However, it would probably be worth it to just play along, and see where it went.

Raito looked up at the television screens in front of him, all set to various news channels blaring the latest Kira killings. He consciously tried to open his eyes as wide as they would go, although he knew it was rather fruitless. His eyes could never look as gigantic as L's; the man had an inhuman ability to keep them open wide.

His efforts were not lost on L, however, although they did leave him a bit more confused. Exactly _what_ was Raito playing at?

The pair sat in silence for another few minutes, until Raito moved slightly, pulling off his socks and throwing them onto the ground.

It was hard for Raito to do such a thing. He was normally quite neat, and despised L for walking around barefoot.

It was hard for L to watch him do such a thing without bursting into fits of laughter.

Misa walked in at that moment, and nearly dropped the tea tray she carrying. Seeing Raito, nearly curled up on a chair, eyes forcibly opened wide, was such a shockingly ridiculous image that she thought she must've seen it wrong at first. At second glance, however, it appeared she hadn't.

Raito studiously ignored her obvious open-mouthed gape at him. He knew his behavior was odd, but it was all for the Cause.

After a few seconds, Misa regained her composure and continued over to where Raito and L were sitting, setting down the tea tray on the small table in front of them. "Um, tea, Raito?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Raito, instead of answering verbally, nodded slightly and gingerly picked up the delicate china cup, sloshing the tea over the top. He had to check the scowl that automatically moved onto his features.

L also took a cup, silently praising Raito for his decent impression of himself. Without looking over at the other man, L grabbed five creamers and six sugar cubes, haphazardly dropping the sugar in and pouring in the cream.

Raito was watching closely, and mimicked his moves almost exactly, even to the point of the same number of sugar cubes and creamers. L was secretly surprised. Raito usually took his tea plain, and didn't disguise his distain for sweets.

That was one of the many things he truly couldn't understand about Raito. How could one not like sweets?

The pair sipped their tea in silence, interrupted only by Misa's occasional attempt at small talk. Mostly, she just chatted to herself, while L listened intently and Raito pretended to listen while really watching L's every move.

Finally, Misa left Raito and L alone. Raito, unsure of what L would say in such a situation, continued to sit quietly, and so L spoke up after a moment. "Raito, would you like to go out for a bite of cake?"

Raito looked over to L in shock, completely bewildered at L's unprecedented comment. He had never asked Raito out, and, in truth, had never even shown an interest in the outings that Raito invited him to. He had been worried that L perhaps knew about his schemes all along, and was simply humoring him in playing along.

Of course, now he realized what a silly idea that was. L would never, and could never, outsmart Raito.

"Yes," Raito answered a little too quickly and animatedly. He immediately realized his mistake and forced his voice to be calmer, as L's always was. "After work?"

L nodded, and then went back to stacking up his creamer containers into a small pyramid. He knew it was time for Raito's little game to end. He would have to either give Raito what he wanted, or refuse him so dramatically that Raito would forever cease his plot to seduce him. The choice, for L, was simple. There really had only been one way for this to play out since the beginning.

-----

Raito was strangely giddy for the remainder of the afternoon, and thoroughly frightened Matsuda when he walked past him in the hall outside the office, barefoot and smiling almost maniacally. An honest smile was definitely not something Matsuda was accustomed to seeing on Raito's face, and it threw him off rather spectacularly.

-----

After their workday officially ended, L and Raito left the building for the cake shop.

By that time, Raito had fully embraced his new plot to act exactly like L, and now even looked somewhat like him. He had mussed up his hair as much as he could take without gagging, changed out of his usually khakis and dress-shirt in favor of a white, quarter-sleeve length t-shirt and jeans, and exchanged his spotless shoes for his old high school gym shoes. Although they weren't as ratty as L's, they were about as dilapidated as he felt he could wear. There were some lines he just couldn't bring himself to cross.

Arriving at the cozy little shop, mostly decorated pink and frequented by young couples on dates, L guided Raito to a table in front of the cake display case. Raito pretended to be entranced with the cakes, as L would be, while actually sneaking surreptitious glances at L.

L, of course, noticed, but chose not to say anything.

The waitress finally broke their awkward silence, penciling down their two orders of strawberry shortcake and tea. Although Raito favored chocolate, he knew L happened to be quite preferential to strawberry.

Unlike the last time they had visited a café together, the waitress did not try to flirt with him. Raito chalked it up to his new "L look". It wouldn't be strange if many didn't find his disheveled, slobby look attractive.

Although he personally didn't mind it too much. It even looked a little sexy on L…

Raito gave himself a mental slap. Thoughts of that sort were completely unnecessary.

L was still staring longingly at the cake display when the waitress returned with their orders, effectively breaking Raito's tension. The thoughts had sent his mind into a gutter he really didn't want it to be in, and cake provided a welcome distraction. Throwing away his normal reservations about eating avariciously, he quickly shoved a bite of cake into his mouth.

L, however, uncharacteristically remained motionless, not even looking at his cake. Instead, he stared intently at Raito.

Out of the corner of his eye, Raito could see what L was doing, and, quite frankly, it unnerved him. L had never actually looked directly at Raito before. Although he might have been happy to receive a little attention from his rival, he couldn't help but feel unsettled. L was looking at him almost exactly how he would look at a piece of exceptionally delicious cake.

Somewhat startled at this revelation, and what it could possibly mean as to L's feelings about him, Raito inadvertently met L's gaze. An electric jolt went through him as their eyes connected, and he looked away after only a split second.

Was it just Raito, or was there a trace of smugness in L's eyes?

Raito cursed himself for his foolishness. Once again, he was letting his emotions overtake his intellect. Mastery of self, that was the key.

L's next comment, however, ruined all "mastery of self" Raito tried to regain.

"Yagami-kun, would you like to accompany me to a hotel for the night?"

Raito did a double take. "What did you just say, Ryuu?" Raito asked, trying to keep the excitement at such a prospect out of his voice.

"I asked if Yagami-kun would like to go to a hotel for the night, with me."

If Raito were a less constrained person, his jaw would have dropped. L asking him to a hotel after inviting him to a café patronized by dating couples, of his own free will? It was all rather too good to be true. Had L finally been seduced at long last? Raito couldn't help but think he had.

Raito ate another large bite of cake to disguise his self-satisfied smile.

L also ate a bite to disguise his own. His plan, too, was moving forward nicely.

-----

**A/N: Hey, I'm actually replying to reviews now that I've discovered the "reply" function, so if you leave a review I'll try to reply to it! And if that's not enough incentive to review…er…I'll give you a great big internet hug? XD**

**To look forward to in chapter 10: After Raito and L arrive awkwardly at their hotel room, L suggests a trip the bathhouse…will Raito be able to resist? Will he even _want_ to? And what exactly is L planning, anyway? ; )**

**HAPPY X-MAS :D**


	11. Chapter 10: Chapter 11

**A/N: Hahaha, this chapter took 2.5 months to get up. Whoops.**

**ALSO: Ren and I now have a Livejournal (lizren) where we'll be posting some stuff that won't be posted on this account, or else will be posted there first. Check it out if you're interested. (We have no friends yet! T.T)**

**Oh, haha, and there's a little…_surprise_…posted in our profile. Ren's baby picture! XD**

**For those who will soon be wondering (after reading this chapter), an apoplexy is a "Sudden impairment of neurological function, especially that resulting from a cerebral hemorrhage; a stroke." Heheh.**

**----- **

**Chapter 10**

Raito continued to cast glances at L as they left the café, and L continued to pretend he didn't notice. Finally, after several minutes of walking, Raito cleared his throat. "Which hotel are we staying at, Ryuu?"

L glanced over, a rather amused smile twisting the corners of his lips up ever so slightly. "The Hilton Tokyo."

Raito nodded in acknowledgment, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. The night air was a bit chilly, since he was only wearing jeans and a cotton t-shirt, and he wondered why L was never cold. He glanced down at his feet and suppressed a shudder. The old tennis shoes he had donned really were atrocious.

After about ten more minutes of walking, they reached the hotel. L looked duly impressed at the grandeur of the lobby, while Raito rolled his eyes. He then realized, though, that rolling his eyes was most un-L-like behavior, and promptly slouched down farther, and ran a hand through his hair to mess it up a little more.

"I'd like a room," L said, shuffling up to the front desk.

Eyeing his disheveled appearance, the receptionist asked, "Just for you…sir?" He added the last part as an afterthought.

L shook his head. "No, for the both of us." he gestured in Raito's direction.

"So, two rooms?"

Raito felt his teeth clench. Was L really going to get two rooms for them? Has he been leading Raito on? Had he been behaving so…_seductively_ on purpose?

"No, just one," L replied, unfazed.

Raito was surprised at the relief he felt.

The receptionist looked the couple over once more and nodded, giving them a set of two keycards. "Room 464," he said curtly.

As L palmed the keycards, Raito found his shoulders relaxing back into their L-slouch. He hadn't even known he had tensed so much and unconsciously straightened them up.

A few minutes later, Raito and L were opening the door to their hotel room. They walked slowly in, Raito a little apprehensive and L simply amused, and both sat down on opposite sides of the one bed in the room.

Raito had a sudden, irrational urge to say something inane, just to fill up the silence that had descended on the room. He mentally slapped himself for such silly behavior, and instead shifted uncomfortably. This, however, did nothing to relieve the tension in the area, of which he was uncomfortably aware.

It was ironic, Raito mused, that the one time he was actually frustratingly close to bagging L, he was too awkward to do it. Awkwardness was definitely not a feeling Raito had ever felt before. In fact, there was no rational reason why he was being awkward now! He was acting like a child, too caught up in his own mind to even notice the ridiculousness of the situation.

These thoughts reassured Raito somewhat, and so, to prove his point and overcome these "completely irrational" feelings, he turned his head to meet L's eyes, and then slid them across the other man's body, looking him over.

His t-shirt, twin to Raito's own, clung in all the right places, revealing L's lean and wiry frame. His pants comfortably hugged his hips, which Raito thought was a miracle since L obviously didn't buy them so they'd flatter his body type on purpose. His raven-colored hair, though an unruly mess, suited him strangely, and Raito could hardly imagine it in any other style.

L glanced over at him and smiled coyly. "Whatever are you looking at, Raito-kun?" he almost purred.

A sudden heat filled the pit of Raito's stomach and, he realized with trepidation, perhaps his feelings weren't quite so irrational. The man was quite a threat to his sanity. A very sexy threat to his sanity.

"You, Mr. Sexy," Raito replied without thinking, too caught up in his own thoughts.

L's eyes widened ever so slightly. "I'm sorry, what was that?" he breathed.

Raito's eyes also widened, and he felt like hitting his head on the wall. What the _hell _had L done to him to get him saying such things? "Er…I think I'm having an apoplexy." Raito wasn't entirely sure that wasn't true, come to think of it.

"Ah," L answered, still a little shocked. Perhaps Raito wasn't being as well fooled as he had thought. Could have underestimated Raito, once again?

_To say something so out of character for himself, knowing it would be one of the few responses to catch me off guard…Could Raito know my plan as well?_ L thought, a little impressed with Raito, although his features betrayed nothing. Raito was one two people who could surprise him at every turn. The other was, of course, Kira. Which only served to increase his suspicion that Raito could be Kira…

Raito and L sat uncomfortable on opposite sides of the bed for a moment longer, before Raito chanced another glance over at L, who made a rather halfhearted attempt at batting his eyelashes. "Yagami-kun, you look a little tense." L scooted a few inches closer to Raito. "Perhaps a bath would loosen you up?" he breathed into Raito's ear.

Raito's head nodded vigorously with enthusiasm before his brain had any time to think about a more appropriate reaction. "Guh," he grunted, further confirming his suspicion that he was losing brain cells at an alarmingly fast rate.

L smiled sweetly at him, making Raito's heart melt and his mind wary. L was being nice. Too nice. "Look," L pointed out the window, "how convenient. There's a bath house right across the street."

-----

Five minutes later, L padded across the tiled locker room and set down his basket of Samurai Shampoo, pulling off his shirt as he did so.

Raito found his eyes inexorably drawn to the naked skin of L's chest. L then reached for the zipper of his pants, and Raito found himself completely incapable of looking away.

Noticing this, L glanced up at Raito. "Is something wrong, Raito-kun? I've never been to a bathhouse before…is this not how one behaves?" he asked genuinely.

Raito shook his head slightly, mostly to clear his thoughts. "No, no, Ryuu, you're doing nothing wrong." At this, Raito pulled off his own shirt, folding it neatly and putting it away. As he unfastened his pants, he stared resolutely at the wall, determined not to look over at L.

"Ah!" L exclaimed, forcing Raito to look up.

"What is it?" Raito asked.

"The zipper is stuck," L said, giving Raito a mournful look.

Raito swallowed.

"Could you help me with it, Yagami-kun?" L queried innocently, an angelic expression on his face.

Raito tried to swallow again, but found that his mouth was too dry for that to be possible. Instead he walked meekly up to L and held out a shaky hand to lower the jammed zipper. To his surprise, it came without much force at all, but even that wasn't enough to save him from blushing like a schoolgirl. To avoid being detected in his uncharacteristic defenselessness, Raito shot out of the locker room towards the bathing area, intent on washing quickly and getting into the bath even quicker.

-----

Another five minutes later Raito still wasn't relaxed. In fact, although he was now sitting in the purifying waters of the bath, he was decidedly more awkward. L, that devilish baggy-eyed bombshell, was sitting, stark naked, only two feet away from him, albeit in water up to their chests.

Raito chanced a quick look at L. His hair was curling in the steam, making him even more of a sultry minx, and the strong, flowery scent of the Samurai Shampoo he'd used in his rinse wafted enticingly though the air. "So," Raito finally began, "nice water."

L gave him a Look. "It would be even nicer…if you were sitting closer to me," he suggested.

Raito coughed, mumbled something under his breath, and then scooted towards him. "It's very relaxing," he remarked, to cover up his embarrassment.

L looked at him quizzically. "You don't look very relaxed, Raito," he purred. "I think a backrub is in order."

Raito's eyes narrowed and he contemplated L suspiciously. "A backrub? What kind of backrub?"

L stifled a smile and gingerly laid a hand on Raito's shoulder. The scent of his shampoo was overpowering. He was intoxicated, and even felt a little lightheaded, like he had that day he'd gotten drunk with L. He was, for lack of a better phrase, drunk on L-vibes.

"Raito, your skin is so soft," said L sweetly, a lustful gaze in his eyes.

Raito overbalanced in shock and fell into the water. When he surfaced, L looked so concerned that Raito couldn't help but think that L's intentions might actually be sincere.

"I know what L stands for," Raito murmured suddenly, surprising even himself by putting his hands on L's shoulders and looking him in the eye.

L gazed back at him dubiously. "Do you now?" he asked coolly, although he was somewhat alarmed by the idea that Raito might have figured out his true name, especially if he turned out to be Kira…

"Yes, I do," Raito answered. "L stands for Loveable."

He leaned over, closing the distance between them, and hesitantly pressed his lips to L's.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Gah, the innuendo in this chapter! It borders obscene, I'm serious! (_bangs head against wall_) We're finally at the juicy meat of this fic. Slash fangirls, rejoice and enjoy, and thank you all for your wonderful reviews!**

**----- **

The second Raito's lips met L's, reality took a vacation. Pride, sensibility, and rational thoughts like "_oh my god what do you think you're doing?_" departed as well, leaving Raito and L to happily make out without a care in the world. The two guys in the bath next to theirs could have disappeared into a whirlpool gateway to another world called New Mazoku and they wouldn't have noticed.

After what seemed like dynasties, L broke off the kiss and fixed Raito with an adorably cute stare. "Love a bowl?" he asked in puzzlement. "my name stands for 'Love a bowl'? How could anyone love a bowl, even if it was a really nice one?"

Raito's eye twitched, the fuzzy afterglow of the fantastically perfect kiss starting to fade. "Maybe they really love the ramen in it?" he said dryly, trying his utmost to preserve that warm feeling of mutual affection for just a moment longer.

L giggled coyly.

Giggled.

_Coyly._

"Oh, Yagami-kun, you're so funny," he said, long black hair sodden with crystalline droplets of water.

Raito was torn between the desire to whip out his Death Note and kill L right there on the spot, his lack of L's real name notwithstanding (he didn't think "Loveable" would cut it with the Death Note) and whipping out another, much more agreeable and needy object.

"Let's go back to OUR hotel room," L cooed, running his fingers through Raito's hair and gazing at Raito lovingly through heavily lidded eyes.

Raito frowned slightly--had L just _cooed_ at him? However, what with the soft, slender fingers moving through his hair and demurely sexy expression on L's face, Raito didn't think he had the mental capacity to contemplate it.

Several responses to L's question ran through Raito's mind at once, beginning with "_Why of course!_", "_You lead the way, darling_!" and "_Oh God, just hurry up and take me there!_" Because he didn't think any of them were entirely appropriate, however, he simply settled on a nondescript gurgle.

L's lips twitched into a smile as he slid out of the bath, and Raito was left with nothing to do but sit there drooling or follow him, deciding on the more dignified route of lifting himself out of the bath as well. The couple made their way back to the locker room, Raito's little L act completely forgotten as he struggled to even walk naturally for himself, what with a very naked L moving seductively right beside him.

As they opened their lockers, L put a warm hand on Raito's shoulder, and Raito was forced to look over at him. "Yagami-kun, I forgot that I—" L began, drawing Raito's attention to L's supple lips, stretched around the thumb stuck in his mouth. Raito felt himself heating up, his eyes fixed on that gorgeous thumb, L's lips moving gracefully around it as he spoke, although a peculiar rushing in his ears prevented him from understanding what was being said. It was those damned lips, which just kept sliding up and down his finger, making it slippery and wet as it pulsed in and out of L's mouth in time with his words. It was mesmeric, entrancing, totally and completely engulfing Raito's sense and sensibility until he felt as if he had to move closer, closer to L and his dazzling form. Raito saw himself lean in, a hand moving on its own to touch L's skin, smooth and soft after their soak in the baths, and--

"Oh! Ryuuzaki, Yagami-kun, what're you doing here?" The voice cut sharply through Raito's trance, causing him to snap his head in the direction of the speaker and lower his hand like he had been shocked.

"Matsuda-san!" L exclaimed amiably. "Raito was just teaching me how one acts in a bath house, since I've never been to one before."

Matsuda smiled. "Huh, that was nice of you, Yagami-kun. But what brings you two so far from headquarters? It's getting pretty late," he said, totally innocently.

Raito shot him a withering look. "I think we should be asking _you_ what you're doing here, Matsuda-san. We have work tomorrow."

"He's right," L agreed. "We'd be at our houses at this hour too, if we weren't staying in the hotel right across the street." L pointed in the direction of the hotel.

A look of dawning realization crossed Matsuda's face. He smiled slyly. "Ohhh, I get it. You two are staying together. But I wonder why you chose somewhere like the Hilton, instead of you, y'know, a love-hotel or something…" He trailed off, looking slightly bashful.

Raito was sure a vein had burst in his forehead. "Excuse me?" he hissed, looking over at L for support. L simply looked amused, however, and didn't offer any helpful words.

Matsuda chuckled nervously, acutely aware of Raito's anger. "Uh…I guess I put my foot in my mouth there, ha-ha. But really, you don't have to hide it. I won't mention it to your father, Yagami-kun."

Raito's glare became deadly. He had to control the situation, since he seemed, judging by his recent behavior around L, to be able to control little else. "I don't know what you're thinking, Matsuda-san, but I have a hypothesis that it's wrong," he said, slowly and dangerously.

"Ok, ok!" Matsuda said, throwing up his hands in easy surrender, just as Raito thought he would. "No need to get touchy. I guess I'll see you two at work tomorrow, yeah? Oh, and to answer your question, Yagami-kun, I'm visiting my parents, and their apartment is just down the street from here."

L nodded serenely, and Matsuda continued on his way out to the baths.

L then turned back to Raito, fully capturing his attention again. "So, as I was saying, could I take yours?" he said lightly.

At the words _could I take yours _Raito's mind made a gigantic leap across chasms of rationality into a strange land where everything had some hidden sexual connotation, and the only noun he could think of that fit with L's sentence was 'virginity.'

"Um, s-sure," Raito answered, dazed and unable to believe what L had just said.

L stood there awkwardly for a moment, staring at Raito as if he were supposed to be doing something. "Yagami-kun," he finally said in a slightly suspicious tone of voice, eying Raito thoroughly, "you do still have yours, don't you?"

A blush swept over Raito's cheeks, which he quickly hid by pulling his ratty L-t-shirt over his head. "Of course I do!" he snapped irritably, trying to avoid L's darkly perceptive eyes.

"Then I guess I can just _come_ with you, and then I'll let you go _inside_ first." L gave him a small smile. "Is that all right, Yagami-kun?"

Raito was completely and utterly positive that he had truly gone crazy this time. All those other instances of insanity had just been a warm-up for the actual event. "Y-Yeah," he managed weakly.

"But don't forget that you have to stick it into the slot gently," L continued seriously.

Raito swallowed.

L paused. "Although I'm sure you already know better than I how that works."

Well, that wasn't exactly true, but Raito was too preoccupied trying to prevent the drool from spilling out of mouth to respond.

"I'm not very experienced with using hotel keycards myself. Usually I just have Watari open the room for me," L said nonchalantly, turning to walk out of the locker room as though he had said nothing of any consequence.

Raito's eyes widened in horror. "K-key card?" He said, stuttering for the third time in a row. "He was talking about a hotel keycard?" he repeated in disbelief.

L, who heard his mutterings, turned around, a look of total innocence on his face. "Why, yes, Yagami-kun. Don't you remember? Before Matsuda-san showed up I told you that I forgot that I'd left my keycard in the hotel room, and was wondering if I could take yours." He turned around again and continued walking, leaving Raito to stew by himself.

Raito slammed a fist against a nearby locker. _So it's still on, is it, L?_ Raito thought to himself maniacally. _You may think you're winning, oh yes, but really you have no idea how far you're in over your head. I, like I am destined to, will come out victorious as the leader of the new world order of Kira! _

Raito grinned darkly, mussed up his wet hair so it again resembled L's, and then followed L out of the locker room. The night was young, and it was going to be a long one.

-----

**A/N2: Well, it's been officially over a year since we first started writing this fic. Wow. You guys have been AWESOME, what with giving us over 200 reviews now, when we thought from the start that we'd only get like 7. Thanks so much, and more are always welcomed and appreciated! (_hugs reviewers_)**

**In KYFCBYEC 12: Raito and L return to their hotel room, and things start to heat up in the most delicious way. Will Raito at last be victorious and successfully manipulate L into revealing his name? Or will Raito's plan backfire on himself? Find out in chapter 12!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Happy 2007! May this be the best year EVER! XD**

**Chapter 13. **

When Raito arrived at the room, L was slouching expressionlessly outside of it. He nodded at Raito, who pulled out his damned (and completely literal) keycard and opened the door, the action of sliding it into the key slot making his throat a little dry.

"You first," Raito offered, gesturing L inside the door before himself.

Once they were inside, Raito bolted the door shut, and then slowly stepped towards L, who had his back to him, looking pensively out the window. The view was fantastic, a sweeping vista of the Tokyo which reminded Raito all too vividly of that night mere weeks ago when he and L had visited a similar hotel and enjoyed a similar view from the roof. Of course, that hadn't exactly ended well on multiple fronts, since he had realized just how in "lust" he was with L by pushing him down a flight of stairs.

Raito gathered his resolve and slipped his arms around L from behind, resting his chin on L's shoulder. He didn't feel L tense at all, which was a good sign.

"Yagami-kun," L murmured throatily, "do you want something?"

Raito looked at their reflection on the floor-to-ceiling glass window in front of them, reveling in the picture of L and him set against the starry night sky. "No," he whispered, his lips teasingly brushing L's ear as he spoke. "I _need_ something. I need you, Ryuuzaki, now."

Raito closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. L's hair was still heavily scented from the baths, a mix of soap and some sort of flowery fragrance.

"I'm right here, Yaga-… No, Raito-kun." L's voice was soft and emotionless, and yet Raito had never heard anything more alluring in his life. He reopened his eyes, and was about to whisper some sweet nothing back when he caught a glimpse of L's expression in the window. For just a brief second, a smirk had flitted across his face.

Raito fought to keep his own expression even, although his voice was perceptibly harder when he spoke next. "Then come with me," he growled, pulling L backwards and nearly throwing him onto the bed. Raito landed neatly on top of him, before reaching for the hem of L's shirt and ripping it over his head.

L remained unfazed. "Where are we going, Raito-kun?"

"Up to heaven, together," Raito responded, attacking the zipper of L's jeans while simultaneously tearing off his own shirt. The two long-sleeved t-shirts lay next to each other, crumpled on the floor.

Raito looked down at L, sprawled on the bed before him. His hair was a mess, still shiny and damp, and his skin practically glowing with moisture.

A feral smile lit across Raito's lips as he leaned down, unable to wait any longer. He plunged his tongue into L's mouth, and then suddenly found himself being turned around, so that he instead lay on his back with L on top of him.

L broke the kiss to swipe his tongue across the shell of Raito's ear, as if…_tasting_ him.

"Mmm…" he hummed. "You taste good, Raito-kun, but you know what would make you taste even better?"

Raito looked up at him quizzically, his head caught on the '_you taste good, Raito-kun'_ part. "What?"

L smiled, a hint of mischievousness tucked into the corners of his lips. Instead of answering, he reached over to the bedside table, opened the drawer and plucked out a light pink cardboard box. He pulled the lid open, revealing the contents.

Raito gaped, simultaneously quite excited and very, very afraid.

Inside was a can of whipped cream and a can of chocolate icing.

Still straddling Raito, L uncapped the can of icing and stared down at Raito. "I hope you're as hungry as I am, Raito-kun," he growled, his teeth glinting predatorily.

Raito swallowed heavily. His mouth was watering, and he was sure it wasn't from the sweets.

L stuck his finger into the icing, drawing it slowly out and delightedly licking the chocolate off of it. Raito found himself enchanted by the simple movement. He deftly reached for the zipper on L's pants, unconsciously licking his lips.

L blocked his movement by bending over and whipping out the whipped cream can, licking a wet trail down Raito's chest. The heat of L's tongue sent shivers down Raito's spine, and he wrapped an arm around L's neck, pulling him closer.

Just as they came nose to nose, their lips almost close enough to touch, L jammed the can of whipped cream in between their faces, knocking Raito in the forehead.

Raito moaned in a mixture of pain, pleasure, and impatience.

"Not yet, Raito-kun," he purred.

"Yes, yes. Foreplay and all that," he grumbled unhappily.

A small pout slipped onto L's face. "Raito-kun, perhaps what we're doing isn't right. We are coworkers after all, and we should both concentrate on the investigation above all else. This could be a needless distraction."

Raito's poorly masked crestfallen expression couldn't have provided a clearer look into his thoughts. He recovered quickly, however, and calculated his options. He could either push L further or back off. But which one would lead him to his ultimate prize of seducing L?

With a jolt Raito realized that he no longer knew why he wanted to seduce L. It had originally been, of course, to find out his real name. Now, however, he seemed to be developing some ulterior motive. Now he actually wanted to bed L without pretense.

"You…I-" Raito answered, genuinely completely conflicted and confused. He had to make a decision. To go farther, to keep this plan going, or abandon it as a failure.

L eyed him appraisingly. "You're correct, of course." The evil glint came back into L's eyes. "…And too delicious to resist."

With that, L lifted the can of whipped cream and pressed down on the top.

At that moment, Raito was torn by the epic dichotomy of his personality: let L have his way with him and get hopelessly covered in some disgusting sugary foam, or push him off and end it all now, before it had even begun.

_Wait. _Let _L_ have his way with _him?_ As in L was…seme?

…Oh hell no.

A few desperate thoughts flashed through Raito's mind as L drew a whipped cream picture on his chest and stomach. Without further thought, Raito did the only thing he could think of: flip L over, once again, so that Raito was again on top.

L looked up at him strangely, but then lifted himself up and swiped his tongue across Raito's chest, licking up the whipped cream. "Mmm," he hummed, apparently enjoying himself.

Raito, on his hands and knees above him, closed his eyes, enjoying the moment, and felt L move beneath him. _Beneath him. _

"I think it's my turn, isn't it?" he murmured, opening his eyes and expecting to see L's sultry face. But instead, he was greeted with the sight of the ugly hotel bedspread.

Raito started as he felt the touch of warm hands move onto his hips, and L's voice whispered into his ear, "Over here, Raito." Raito snapped his head around to find L on his knees behind him, his hands positioned on Raito's sides, one already snaking around the front to unbutton his jeans.

A silent sigh escaped Raito's lips as his mind went blank. He shifted a little, his arms starting to hurt, and accidentally bumped into L behind him.

He abruptly froze. There was most definitely something hard behind him, and the only thing directly behind him was L's crotchal region.

Raito couldn't help the blush that spread over his face. _No, I should be elated! _he thought, trying to be rational. _This is exactly what I've been aiming at all along: seducing L. Finally, finally! After this, _and he refused to go into detail about what 'this' was, _I'll get his true name out of him. Perfection!_

Raito smiled again, coldly, his hair falling in front of his face as L leaned down over him to whisper something else in his ear.

_I have him now._

-----

From a dark corner of the room, Ryuuk stared amusedly at the two men on the bed, chuckling softly to himself. Humans truly were most entertaining creatures.

And, Ryuuk thought, watching L slip the can of whipped cream into his pants, presumably for safekeeping, they were also completely ridiculous.

-----

**A/N2: Thanks for 30k hits and reviews are appreciated beyond your wildest imagination. :D**

**All grammar mistakes are mine, this hasn't even been looked over yet but I wanted to post it as soon as it was done to calm some of you guys down. XD For future reference, although we do love the occasional good beg for new chapters, bribes work _much_ better. XDD**

**In KYFC chapter 14: "Things" are revealed…(_evil laughter)_ Unluckily for Raito, they're not _exactly_ what they seem…**


	14. Chapter 135237

Chapter 14: A Metaphorical Journey of the Soul

**A/N: We've decided to take a break from our previous humorous endeavors and talk candidly about an issue we both feel strongly about: feral children. We hope that this chapter will reflect this dire issue in all its seriousness. No fun shall be had. Fun is out of the picture. NON DIVERTIDO. So, on with the show, or as they would say in Zen Buddhism, "one with the soul."**

The cool city night air caressed Raito's face, ruffling his hair in an affectionate manner, much like he wished L would do.

Ahead of him, barely visible in the midnight gloom, was L, sashaying seductively. Every once in a while he would cast a backwards glance at Raito, and his words would carry over the breeze, "Come, Raito, we must go out and detective in the night."

And that's when it all went sour. The children attacked, feral, untamed creatures of insurmountable beauty. The wild beings surrounded them at every turn and cut off all chances of escape. "Coo coo ca choo," they said, or, as they would say in Zen Buddhism, "one with the soul." It became a chant, a mantra that struck terror into the hearts of even the strongest men. But Raito and L were not just men. They were X-Men. No. Sex-men. No. Sexy-men. Yes! Who could ask for anything more?

Just kidding. : )

**A/N: Blame Lauren. Entirely. Now now, Liz, let's not play the Blame Game. The Blame Game is for children. Feral children. Yes Ren, which, may I remind you, you came up with. Ha-HAH! ON WITH THE SHOW! REALLY! Which is actually a gaiden, not the real story, because we're lazy. And we have raitoer's block. Also all of the above was part of the author's note to avoid violating FFN policy.**

**Warnings: Rampant drug use. And some yaoi. (**_**snicker).**_

A "Pundle" of Fun: Chapter 13.523…7 "Raitos, camera, action!"

Raito sighed, running a hand exasperatedly through his hair. His father seriously underestimated him if he was still assigning Raito to these types of missions. Really, an undercover stakeout could easily be assigned to someone of much a much lower level of competence, even if he _had_ only been with the Kira investigation for a few months.

It had only rubbed it in when he'd found out he'd been assigned with Matsuda, of all people. Not that a stakeout wasn't right down Matsuda's proverbial alley, what with his totally non-proverbial lack in the intelligence department…even though that happened to be exactly where he worked.

Which was why Raito was so surprised when the person who opened the car door to join him in his stakeout wasn't Matsuda, but L. He didn't know the man very well, except that he was not someone to be trifled with.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Yagami-kun. I got lost on the way here. I wasn't sure if I was going in the _right-o _direction," he said nonchalantly, slipping into the seat beside Raito.

Raiot narrowed his eyes. Had L just intentionally used a pun on his name? He hated puns with a burning passion. "Oh, you did, did you?" he asked icily.

L nodded. "Yeah, I made a _raito _turn instead of a left turn at one point, but I got on the _raito _track eventually." Opening a package of cookies, he yelped when a few fell out. He reached up and flicked on the dome light to search for the little baked goodies... miscreants.

"Turn off the raito!" Raito hissed menacingly. "We're on a stakeout, you cookie-munching imbecile!"

"Are you scared, Raito?" L challenged.

"No, Ryuuzaki, I am not!" He punctuated his assertive statement with a flick of his hair. "I was just wondering why you were assigned to this stakeout in the first place. Wasn't Matsuda-san supposed to be my partner today?" he said contemptuously.

"Matsuda-san came down with a cold. The doctor prescribed lots of rest, _raito _away," L replied nonchalantly.

Raito retaliated by switching off the raito suddenly, his arm flying haphazardly through the air and knocking L in the face mid-cookie crunch. The bag of cookies slipped from L's fingertips, its delicious contents spilling all over the floor of the car.

L's head swiveled to look at Raito, his lamp-like eyes full of intensity and astonishment. "You spilled my cookies."

Raito held his features even, although he made a mental sneer. "This is a stakeout. You shouldn't be eating cookies anyway," he replied, turning away.

L was silent for a moment, still staring intently at Raito. "…But I don't like steak," he murmured. "I much prefer cookies."

This time Raito actually did sneer. "Pick those things up off the floor. This is a rental car, you know."

L glanced around at the crumby mess. "Yagami-kun, I'm still hungry," he said simply, not making any move to clean up the cookies.

"And what do you want me to do about it?" Raito snapped back. "We're on a stakeout, we can't just up and go to a bakery to satisfy your every craving, Ryuuzaki, and I honestly think that you should take your position as L a little more seriously if this is your normal stakeout behavior!"

"A bakery!" L shouted in delight. "What a great idea, Yagami-kun! I knew you were a genius!"

With that, L lunged at the steering wheel, knocking Raito out of his way and twisting the keys into the ignition at the same time. He quickly slid himself into Raito's seat, with Raito also still sitting in it, and pressed his foot onto the pedal, speeding away from the parking lot.

"What the…! What are you doing?!" Raito gasped in a muffled manner, half squashed by L.

"Taking us to a bakery. That stakeout didn't even have anything to do with the Kira case, and technically neither of us is on the police force anyway so we shouldn't have to do work like this," L shouted as he rolled down the windows, the evening air blowing through his feathered hair.

"You can't do that! You can't just drive away from a stakeout like that!" Raito shouted back, astonished at this man's behavior.

"Look!" L whispered suddenly, grabbing Raito's upper arm for emphasis, seeming to forget that he needed to actually steer the car while driving.

"What?" Raito half-asked, half-demanded, grabbing the wheel in L's absence and slamming on the brakes.

"Raito over there," L answered, pointing past Raito towards a sketchy looking man who was clearly hiding something under his coat, standing under a nearby lamppost.

"That's the guy!" Raito said, looking back at L. "That's the guy we're after." He thought of a plan quickly. "Here's the deal. You go out and pretend to accept his drugs, buying me some time to make a quick and discreet call to the police. Got it?"

L frowned. "So this is a drug bust?" he asked disdainfully.

Raito glared at him. "Yes. Is that a problem for you?" he demanded. "We can let the criminal walk free, even though he's right here, if that's what you want.

L shook his head. "Oh, no, I'll do it," L said with a sigh.

Raito glared, but inclined his head towards to guy, who had relocated to lean against a brick wall. "Shall we?" he offered, hand on the door handle.

"Raito now," L agreed, and slid over Raito's lap to get out of the car on the driver's side.

The drug dealer looked up and nodded at him. Raito took his cue to call the police.

L approached the dealer confidently, stopping three feet away from him.

Raito could just barely hear L ask, "Hey…you have the goods?" before he hit the emergency alert button on his police-issue cell phone, whispering the situation and their location into the small speaker.

For about thirty seconds, all was silent, and L and the dealer gestured to each other, although Raito couldn't hear what they were talking about. Then suddenly, sirens blared, lights flashed, and the police reinforcements surrounded them. Startled, the drug dealer made to run, but the officers were out and handcuffing him before he could get more than a few feet.

Raito slipped out of the car and walked up beside L, intent on congratulating him for the successful bust. He was instead distracted by the mischievous smile on L's face.

"What?" Raito asked, raising an eyebrow.

L, looking serene, pulled out a suspiciously large ziplock bag full of what looked like brown goop.

"What _is_ that?" Raito asked disgustedly, eyeing it suspiciously while the police were engrossed in arresting the drug dealer.

L dispassionately opened it. Dipping in a finger, he spooned out a dollop and licked it.

Raito stared at him in horror and disbelief. "You did not just—" he began in shock.

"Mmm," L interrupted him. "It's uncooked brownie batter. Premium quality." Raito watched with fascinated distaste as L sampled another fingerful. "Ghirardelli double chocolate," he specified, then frowned. "No, no," he changed his mind, "my mistake. Fudge swirl."

L slipped the bag of brownie batter inside his coat and smiled becomingly at Raito.

Raito managed to shake off shocked haze and blinked. "You can't take that! Was that from the dealer?" he protested in a low voice, while the police shoved the drug dealer into the backseat of a police car.

"Oh, like they don't have enough evidence already," L scoffed. "What's the harm in brownie batter?" he demanded. "Just think of the soft, fluffy moist blend of eggs, cocoa powder, oil, cream, chocolate, and other deliciousness just begging to be devoured."

"It could be contaminated," Raito pointed out haughtily. "Didn't think of that, did you?"

L eyed Raito demurely. "I tasted no such contamination in my sampling," he countered. "Why, Raito," he continued, "could it be that you're scared of a harmless bag of brownie batter?"

"No, L, I am not!" Raito denied vehemently. "Fine, keep your precious brownie batter. See if I care."

"Oh yes," L sighed, "my precious." He patted a lumpy part of his coat and smiled.

Raito chose to ignore his unwanted partner's mutterings and observed their surroundings. "I think we're about done here," he said more confidently. "We can probably go back to the car."

"How anticlimactic," L murmured as they strolled to their respective cars. "But ever so enraitoening."

"I'm glad," Raito said bitterly, slipping into the driver's seat of his car. All was silent for a moment, until he decided to suck up to L a little. The man was, after all, investigating him as a suspect in the largest case of serial killings ever. "You still want to go to that bakery?" he asked L, who stood outside his window.

L assumed a thoughtful expression. "How about the hotel?" he suggested innocently. "I can bake the batter and we can both enjoy the fruits…" L paused, wistfully wondering if he could incorporate strawberries into his brownie batter. That would be truly enchanting. "…Of my labor," he finished, almost forgetting in his fantastical pastry musings that he had to finish his sentence.

"Hm," Raito began shrewdly. He had no desire to go back to the hotel, but if it would allow him to monitor L and get an idea of his capabilities, he was all for it. Besides, it was better than a bakery. "Sure," he agreed with a casual shrug. "Sounds delicious."

L's smile widened. "I hope you will enjoy the brownies as much as I will," he murmured.

"Me too," Raito muttered, unaware of any deeper, more ominous meanings L's innocent statement might have. With a sigh he started up the car as L moved into the passenger seat.

L opened the door to the hotel room and crept inside in his L-like manner, while Raito followed behind with an apprehensive look. "Are we the only ones here?" he asked, trying to find L in the darkness.

"Yes, I think so," he heard L answer from somewhere in front of him. "Turn on the raito, would you? I think it's on the wall to your left."

Raito groped around and found the switch, flooding the room with raito. "I wasn't aware the hotel room had a kitchenette," he remarked, watching as L got out a large rectangular pan from a cupboard and proceeded to spread the brownie batter into the pan.

"I think that looks about even," L murmured to himself, while Raito turned his attention inwards, thinking back over the possible implications of L's annoying attachment to his person and what ulterior motives the clever little imp might be harboring.

In the midst of his inward musings, he was vaguely aware that L was asking him a question.

"…top or bottom?" L finished.

Raito blinked. "Excuse me?" he asked, managing to curtail his disbelief. "What did you just ask me?" It couldn't…it couldn't have possibly been…_that. _

"In the oven," L repeated patiently, gesturing towards the open oven door with one potholder sheathed hand. "Should I use the top or bottom rack?"

Relieved, Raito peered over L's shoulder to gauge the distance between the racks, the top one of which was brand-new and gleaming. "Nice rack," he said approvingly.

L whirled his head around to pin Raito with an inquisitive stare. "Oh," he said, following Raito's gaze to the oven. "Thanks."

"I'd like to be on top," Raito finally answered, while L's eyes widened almost unnoticeably, "…If I were brownies, about to be baked," he finished.

"Oh yes, I certainly wouldn't want to be on bottom," L agreed, gesturing at the distance to the bottom rack. "I'd never get done."

"Top it is then," Raito decided for them, wondering if he was imagining the undercurrents of innuendo in their conversation.

(A/N: We aren't! )

He hoped so.

"Should be done in forty to forty-five minutes," L said, setting a timer. "Whatever shall we do until then?"

When the timer sounded thirty-five minutes later, L was thoroughly engrossed in a copy of the Gideon's Bible and Raito was bored to tears…tears in the wallpaper, which he had been discreetly shredding for a good half hour.

"Oh goody," L crooned. "The brownies are finito. Finito bonito. Shall we partake?" he asked, a butter knife in his hand poised impatiently over the brownies.

"Aren't you going to let them cool?" Raito asked dubiously.

"I'm cool enough already," L shrugged. "But I will partake of their hotness."

"Fine," Raito said grudgingly. "But I'm just going to have one."

Fifteen minutes later, the pan was empty.

"Urgh, I feel ill," Raito muttered indistinctly from the foot of the bed. L was perched on the edge of the bed, and the empty pan had been discarded to one side.

L hummed. "I'm sure you just overate," he assured Raito, trying to mask a crafty smile with a look of oblivious bemusement.

"No, I feel kind of…lightheaded," Raito frowned. The sensation was only getting stronger. Heightened senses…carefree attitude…Raito risked a glance at L. L had promised him that the brownies were clean of drugs. But what if he had intentionally lied to him, to loosen his inhibitions and make him susceptible to interrogation? What if he had in fact _purchased_ those brownies from the dealer, with full knowledge that they did, in fact, contain illegal additives. No, Raito decided, L wouldn't subject himself to sense-addling chemicals.

"Mmm, who invited the magicians to the party in my tummy?" L murmured dreamily, slipping a little bit on the bed.

"So L-oquent," Raito muttered, thinking he should be feeling panicked, but actually finding it difficult to feel much of anything.

"Still feeling sick?" L asked after a hazy pause.

"No, I feel much better," Raito answered before could organize his thoughts clearly. "Everything is so…nice."

When L didn't answer, Raito turned to look at him just in time to see him pitch headfirst off the edge of the bed onto the floor beside Raito, somehow managing to land on his feet.

"Oooh, my most of me," L moaned with a pained expression. "I'm okay," he continued after a pause. "You're okay. Everything is okay."

"Okay," Raito agreed. He started when a hand landed on his shoulder and L's face swam into view. "You know what we've never done?" he asked.

"No," Raito breathed, wondering what he was hoping for as an answer. "What haven't we done?" _Kissed, had sex, married, adopted little genius orphans…_

"We've never talked to each other," L replied seriously.

Raito frowned. "Um. Haven't we?" he asked.

"No," L denied. "We've never just…talked."

"Oh," Raito said. "Well, what are we going to talk about?"

"The Kira case," L said. "Let's talk about Kira."

"Well, for starters," L began, "are you Kira?"

"You mean 'eureka,' I think," Raito corrected. "You switched the 'r' and the 'k.' The 'r' actually comes first."

"What?" L asked, looking quite confused.

"You said 'eukera,' but it's 'eureka.' I'm surprised you made such an L-ementary mistake."

"It's all Greek to me," L said dismissively. "You didn't have to yell at me about it."

"I was just pointing out a dumb error," Raito hissed. "For someone so smart, you really are stupid sometimes!"

"There's no need to get defensive," L soothed, although he looked a bit hurt. "You didn't have to insult me."

"God, you can be so annoying," Raito growled, supporting his head with one hand.

"Oh, and what about you, Mr. Toughy-huffy?" L demanded. "Mr. I-Hate-Fun? All cold and snobby like a cold snobby person?"

"I am not a cold snobby person!" Raito protested hotly.

"Oh yes you are!" L affirmed. "You're a sparse and icy wasteland of a person!"

"I am not an arse and spicy person!" Raito denied, unintentionally confusing his words a fair bit.

"Yes you are!" L crowed again.

Raito gritted his teeth. "Oh, I wish I knew how to quit you," he growled.

"You can't quit me," L breathed, looming dangerously close to Raito's person.

"Oh? And why's that?" Raito challenged.

"Because I'm addictive," L replied, snuggling up to Raito in a vaguely seductive fashion.

"You're a dick all right," Raito grumbled.

"Oh, you meanie," L pouted.

"Get off of me," Raito protested, when L leaned against his shoulder.

"Not unless you give me a hug," L demanded.

"You saucy imp," Raito scolded, not wholly opposed to the idea of hugging him.

Raito held out his arms in a reluctant hug and encountered an armful of L. "You're so L-egant," he praised. L fit into his arms so nicely. He looked up to see L staring at him.

"What is it?" he asked, feeling an unfamiliar sensation in his stomach. L looked so…vulnerable. And cute.

Leaning forward on Raito's lap, L cupped Raito's face with his hands and kissed him. It was an L-ectrifying kiss.

"Your eyes," L purred after a mind-bottling kiss, "they're so beautiful."

"They're just brown," Raito shrugged modestly.

"Oh no no no, Raito," L crooned. "They are the breath-taking shade of brownies. Physical perfection. Magical."

"Oh," Raito said blankly, thinking that _magical _and _brownies _ought to be setting off alarm bells, except L kissed him again and any hypothetical alarm bells were replaced with a warm L.

This kiss was longer, more exquisite, and more heated, yet L insisted on stopping for air. "Are. You. Kira?" he panted in a last-ditch effort to be a detective after they broke apart.

"I'll take kira you," Raito promised him, hugging him close.

"Well that's not really what I meant but oh to hell with it all!" L cried, throwing himself again at Raito. "Take me, take all of me!"

Raito ran his hands down the length of L's body, pulling off his shirt in an euphoric daze and moving his hands down to L's pants, unbuttoning them. Raito felt L undress him as well, soft caresses filling his heart and sweet whispers filling his ears.

He felt rather than saw L come up behind him, ready to slip inside him and it was so perfect, so perfect and magical and beautiful and-

"Raito! Raito!" L cried, but suddenly his voice morphed into Matsuda's and Raito opened his eyes and-

"…Raito? Raito?" Matsuda was saying, his voice leaking into Raito's mind. "Are you awake?"

Raito quickly sat up, trying to gain his bearings. He was slouched over his desk at Kira headquarters, some papers relating to the latest Kira victims strewn about him. "What was that Matsuda?" he asked groggily, embarrassed to have fallen asleep at work.

Matsuda looked at him concernedly. "I just wanted to make sure you were all right. You hardly ever fall asleep at work, so I thought maybe you were sick or something." He looked pointedly down at the spot of drool on one of Raito's documents.

Raito glared at him. "Yes, Matsuda. I'm fine. Fantastic. Perfectly all-raito." As soon as that terrible pun escaped his lips, the dream flooded back to him and a light blush flooded his cheeks. "I just…had a strange dream, that's all. Must have been tired."

Someone padded softly into the room, and Raito closed his eyes in horror at having to see him so soon after having a dream like that. Where he was _uke_ nonetheless. This seemed to be an ongoing problem.

"Hello, Yagami-kun," L said amiably. "How are you this morning?"

Raito glowered fiercely at him. "As I was just telling Matsuda-san, fantastic. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be going home for a bit to get myself some breakfast."

As Raito walked briskly out of the room, L turned to Matsuda curiously. "Strange…he seems strange this morning. Perhaps I shouldn't have given him those magic brownies last night, although it was his father who suggested it."

Matsuda chuckled softly. "Not to mention that it was great entertainment. The best part was when he jumped up on the couch and started singing 'Don't Stop Believin'' in perfect English at the top of his lungs."

"Hmm," L said, smiling ever-so-slightly. "True. He doesn't seem to remember any of it, either, which is all for the better, really."

The two shared another subdued laugh, then got back to their own work, awaiting Raito's arrival later that day.

Secrets were most definitely a necessary part of maintaining the workplace environment.

**A/N: SORRY! Really. The real chapter will be up in a few…somethings. And omgz thanks so much for 50k+ hits, guys. I actually really do reply to every review so if you have the time, please leave one!**


	15. Ending A

Chapter 14 – ending A

Raito felt a heady combination of excitement and anxiety flutter inside him in anticipation of what naughty things L was no doubt about to do to him. L's strong, supple detective fingers were dutifully investigating Raito's giggly place.

"Mmmm," Raito encouraged, letting L push his shirt up higher and his pants down lower. _Now, _Raito thought excitedly, _when he's in the throes of passion, I can uncover his most closely guarded secret!_

L slipped Raito's pants past his hips, then down his thighs until they fell completely off his ankles, and Raito couldn't stifle the soft moan that escaped his throat as L's hands traveled back up.

All of Raito's hopes were dashed in an instant when thunder roared outside, followed by lightning, followed by L screeching in terror and toppling off the bed.

Raito sat up slowly, not quite believing what had just happened. Surely that girlish scream hadn't come from—L? And right before he was about to…

Peering over the side of the bed, Raito saw L shivering in fear against the wall, his wide, heart-melting eyes glinting with terror. "L…what's wrong?" Raito asked in a concerned voice.

L looked away, tears streaming down his face.

Raito slipped off the edge of the bed and sat down next to L, hesitating only briefly before deciding to put his arm around L's quaking form. "Surely you're not—" Raito began, breaking off abruptly to gauge L's reaction, "—afraid…of…lightning?" he finished tentatively, seeing L's face grow even more terrified.

"But it's…frightening," L said in a small voice. "Lightning struck my house and started a fire. That's how my parents died." One last tear fell down his cheek.

"So that's why you cried," Raito murmured knowingly, hugging L close. "I'm so sorry, L."

L gave him a grateful look. "It haunts me still," he whispered, trembling when another crack of thunder hit.

"Is there anything I can do?" Raito offered.

L gave him a watery smile. "Just let me stay with you," he asked.

"That's fine with me," Raito assured him.

L assumed a thoughtful air. "And…maybe some tea," he added.

"Okay," Raito nodded. "I'll be right back."

As Raito strode over to the little kitchenette area and began warming some hot water for tea in the coffee maker, L sniffed once, then smiled, just a little. Not only did he have a perfect view of Raito's ass, but he also had his pants.

Acting quickly, he slipped a hand inside Raito's pants pocket and rummaged around. He found lint, which was exciting because three-fourths of the letters in that word were in his name, some spare yen, a nice calligraphy pen, and...notebook paper? Intrigued, he pocketed the notebook paper and, spurred by boredom, drew a smiley face with the calligraphy pen onto the seat of Raito's pants.

With Raito still in the kitchen, L withdrew the notepaper again and, as befitting his neat and meticulous genius mind, began to make a to-do list, as well as things he had to investigate.

'Yagami Raito,' he wrote first, thinking of the handsome man's darkly becoming visage. He really was cute for a murder suspect. Of course, he was on the list of things L had to investigate…definitely not his To-Do list. Well, it was sort of halfway between the two columns.

"Misa," he wrote under Raito, remembering how suspicious she acted on occasion. Investigating her was imminent.

'Pants,' he wrote next, admiring Raito's quasi-designer cut pants. If he wanted to mimic Raito in revenge for Raito's mimicking of him, he definitely had to get similar pants.

"Gackt," he added under 'pants'. He'd downloaded a Gackt ringtone for his phone and liked it so much that he really just had to get more.

'Tea', he wrote under Raito. Tea was something that definitely needed to be investigated. If there was a possibility that he could drug it without being caught, well, Raito would be an open book…

"Here we go," the possible open book in question interrupted fifty three seconds later, emerging from the kitchen with a full tea tray.

At that precise second, L's phone rang. L cast a glance at his phone and saw that Misa was calling. Raito, startled by the sudden blast of Gackt emanating from L's phone, lost his footing and tripped over his discarded pants.

The tea slid from his tray, one teacup going so far as to hit the opposite wall and shatter, ricocheting back to Raito in pieces. At fifty-six seconds, a particularly sharp shard sliced his jugular and another embedded itself in his heart, tearing his aorta.

At fifty-eight seconds, Raito slumped to the ground, bleeding profusely, and choked his last words.

"Not even to third base," he gasped.

At sixty seconds, Yagami Raito passed away, done in by a lethal to-do list.

FIN.

-------

**A/N: Oh, what? You got your hopes up that this would be the end? That you'd never have to deal with our inanity again? Sorry, guys this is only the first of three (three, yes THREE!) alternate endings OMGZZZZ!! This one's all Ren's genius.**

**Shout out thanks to everyone who's reviewed, fav'd, or alerted this story or us. Y'all rock, and we have a new DN fic in the works JUST FOR YOU:D More on that later…for now, the next ending will come out soon, promiiiise this time. :)  
**


	16. Ending B

**A/N: Hey all this is official ending numero dos, and it continues immediately after chapter 13 …and was actually supposed to be chapter 14 until that other ending crept in. Hah.**

**Warning****: There is some **_**seriously **__**mind-shatteringly graphic innuendo**_** in this chapter. But, as the preview for this chapter states (way back in the first ch. 13), all is not what it seems. :) Still, a warning to those squeamish of the male anatomy!  
**

"How do you like it, Raito?" L murmured, lips brushing the back of Raito's neck as he bent down to whisper in his ear. "Gentle or rough?"

"I-I don't know," Raito stammered, his short-lived composure quickly falling to pieces.

_How do you like, gentle or rough? _Raito thought suspiciously. _No, there's no way that could be misconstrued. He's clearly talking about sex, not some keycard or other completely innocuous item…right?_

"Raito-chan," L whispered. "It's all right. Even if it's rough I won't hurt you too badly."

_Too badly? _Shivers ran down Raito's spine. He involuntarily pushed himself closer to L's body, until he again ground into that strange pressure against the back of his thigh.

Oh God there really was something hard back there. Hard, and very, very large. Wow that thing was monstrous. Too bad he hadn't caught a glimpse in the bathhouse.

No, what was he doing! He was like a teenaged girl, drunkenly giving up his virginity merely over the impressive size of someone's sexual member! He… he didn't need this! He, too was a member… of the, of the… National Police Agency… what?

Oh, to hell with it. He was going in. Or rather, L would be.

Yes, he had finally accepted it. L would be…entering…him. It would be painful, probably, and really horrible. So horrible that Raito would never, ever want to do it again and would therefore be over his little problem of lusting after another man, this man specifically being L.

"Are you ready, Raito?" L said huskily. "Are you ready for me to whip out my giant package?"

Raito just barely choked back a response of "Yes, Master, oh YES!" and instead replied with a faux-annoyed, "Just get it over with, then!" Especially if L's package really was, you know, _that giant_, which, if Raito's thigh could correctly judge size, seemed to be quite true.

"Oh yes, I'm going to _whip up_ something delicious with it," L continued in the same leisurely tone. "Ohhh, it's so full of milky, creamy, white fluid just pressurized to come spurting out!"

Apparently he really liked dirty-talk, Raito thought. It was actually making him a little queasy. It sounded too much like he was describing a… a can of_whipped cream_ or something…

Still, he couldn't deny that he was just a bit turned on.

"Are you sure… are you sure you're ready for it, Yagami-kun," L breathed. "It's jumbo-sized."

_Jumbo-sized? _Raito thought. Well, that certainly was a unique adjective choice to describe L's "package." In fact all of his descriptive language had been rather unique.

"Mmmm it makes a sticky mess but I bet it would _taste_ delicious!" L cried.

That was when Raito froze.

L continued to shout, becoming increasingly enraptured. "Oooh, just imagine the creaminess!"

Several thoughts passed through Raito's head.

"I just want to pop the cap off and spray it right onto some ice cream!" L's cries were now ecstatic.

They were all interesting and borderline frantic thoughts, but one particularly stuck out in Raito's mind.

It sounded too much like he was describing a… a can of whipped cream or something… 

Oh Kami-sama, L wasn't talking about any part of his anatomy at all. He was talking about an_actual can of whipped cream stuffed in his pants._ The size of it seemed to fit perfectly, as did L's strange, strange innuendo.

Without further consideration, Raito turned around and plunged a hand into L's pants.

"Ohh Yagami-kun!" L giggled girlishly as Raito's hand closed around something that was definitely a lot more fleshy than a can of whipped cream. He tried again, this time successfully seizing the object of his desire, yanking it out of its home in L's trousers.

Sure enough, inside his clammy hand there was a can of Reddi-Whip.

L giggled again, batting his eyelashes. Raito knew L was mocking him in that infuriating way he did best.

Raito also knew L would always be, at least in the game of seduction, one step ahead of him, always able to foresee one move farther into the future.

Of course, none of it mattered. The truly consequential game involved only their wits, their abilities to evaluate their opponent's capacity to perform, penetrating each other's cracks in guise and thrusting hard into any slick opening their opponent happened to leave for conquest.

Raito reflected on his thoughts, and realized that he really was screwed, unfortunately entirely metaphorically. And there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

…But, of course, rid the world (and himself, naturally) of the nuisance generally referred to as L.

_FIN._

_ ---- -_

**A/N: And here you insert…the rest of the Death Note series, lol. Yeah I always meant for this to be a self-insertion story that would actually make sense if placed neatly in canon (minus the obvious, er, changes), so this is the ending that fulfills that for me. XD**

**REVIEWS ARE LOVE AND BUTTERFLIES AND PUPPIES WOOOO. Please leave them!**


	17. Ending C is for COOKIE!

L was dead, killed by Raito through Rem, and Raito couldn't quell the excitement and anticipation in the pit of his stomach.

L, the only man stopping Raito from complete world domination, was dead.

Raito knew he should have been excited because there was nothing in his way now, he could be the ultimate sculptor of the world, the universe, dealing justice to those criminals who deserved it and creating a better world for the upstanding citizens of it. He should have been excited because Ryuuk was putty in his hands, the police force even more so. L had been the only thing left to stop him and now he was dead, forever.

But, well, there was another thought that was really causing the excitement. After his long, hard (pun intended), and eventually fruitless battle to gain access to L's pants...well, you see, _dead boys can't say no._

...THE END!!!!

**A/N: Grandaddy Lizren dun know if any of ya fandom youngsters know it but that joke is actually a super-ancient "in joke" of the DN fandom, back from around 2004/5 when we first began this fic. Yep, it's taken us that motherfreaking long to finish it. So here's our tribute to that begone era when people still referred to Light as "Raito," and Near and Mello were yet to be born into the DN universe.**

**Thanks to everyone who's ever read and (hopefully) reviewed, and although this sounds like the end, really, who knows. We'll probably post a new cookie up now and again, so check back on our profile when you can! Or better yet, subscribe!  
**

**Luvs ya all! Happy holidays and wheewwww can't believe it's almost 09!**


	18. ENDING D HEAVAN BE THY NAYME

**We're back (in spite of popular demand) with ANOTHER ENDING!!!! When will it end? NOT TIL JUDGEMENT DAY.**

**Chapter 17/ Ending D: The Lord is My Shepherd????? How many fandoms can you spot in this chapter.**

L blinked and sat up, looking around him curiously. Last he remembered, he had been about to seduce Raito into either confessing that he was Kira or having really great sex, possibly both.

But now a bright mist surrounded him, and it was completely silent. He couldn't see much of anything, but he knew he was lying on some sort of floor…and he was completely naked.

"I don't have my whipped cream anymore," he murmured sadly, opting to focus on the mundane rather than the more inexplicable circumstances in which he found himself.

He'd barely finished speaking when a new can of whipped cream materialized out of the mist, along with a neatly folded pile of clothes.

He put on the clothes (which fit him perfectly!) and grabbed the whipped cream. As he stood up the mist dissipated, fading and morphing into some sort of large, domed hall.

"Wow," he breathed, suddenly registering where he was. "King's Cross Station!"

"That's right," said a familiar voice.

L turned, coming face to face with his oldest friend. "Watari!"

His mentor and assistant nodded with a smile. "Yes, I'm here."

"But…" L floundered. "Kira killed you!"

"That he did," Watari agreed ruefully.

"So…" L paused to think things through. "…I'm dead too? Kira…k-killed me?"

"On the whole, I think not," Watari answered.

"But how can that be?" L asked. "Where am I, then, if I'm not dead??"

"I can't be entirely sure, L," Watari answered. "I think Kira—"

"Raito," L interrupted, "Kira is Raito." In his last moments before waking up in this place, he remembered Raito's cruel smirk on the bed, and a journal…

Watari faltered. "Is he now?" he murmured. "That's a pity. I finally thought you might find happiness with someone else." He gave L a shrewd look. "You were happy with him, weren't you?"

"Yes, but…I knew it wouldn't last if he turned out to be Kira." L looked away, trying hard not to think about all the fun he'd had with Raito over the last few months. He'd been so fun to tease…and torture…

"I don't understand how he found out my name," he continued. "He had to, to have killed me, but I don't remember ever revealing it."

"That's of no matter now," Watari told him. "What's important is that he failed. You are not dead. You have a chance now to go back and stop him, and he will not even suspect assault from you because he thinks that you are dead."

"What about you?" L asked almost tearfully. "Is there no hope for you?"

"Oh, I'm in a better place," Watari assured him. "Don't you worry about me. You have to take care of Raito. Remember, L, redemption is always possible. Forgiveness and justice can go hand in hand."

"Right," L nodded. "I see now what I have to do to stop men like him."

"The night is darkest just before the dawn," Watari reminded him gently.

"But the dawn is coming!" L swore with renewed confidence.

With that, his surroundings—and Watari—faded, and his reality reshaped itself into the hotel room he last remembered occupying before his death.

He was lying on his back now, on the bed. His new can of whipped cream and his clothes from his foray into King's Cross station were kind enough to accompany him on the reality-hopping journey back.

Raito was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from his latest victim. His face was drawn and marred by perhaps genuine regret.

L sat up very carefully, knowing the slightest movement of the mattress would alert his murderer to his presence. Once he had accomplished this, he sprang, wrapping his arms around Raito's neck and dragging him backwards down to the bed.

"Silly Raito," L purred, tying a stunned Raito's hand to the bedpost with Raito's tie. "Did you think I would die without a chance to ravish you? Silly, silly, silly."

He tied Raito's other hand to the other bedpost and did the same with his feet, so that his dazed and confused victim was spread-eagled on the bed.

Sitting back, he admired his handiwork, then realized that Raito still had his clothes on. Frowning, he went on a search around the room and found scissors in the drawer of the desk. He returned to the bedside and snipped off Raito's clothes, leaving him quite naked.

Smiling, he sat back. He looked at his kingdom he was finally there, to sit on his throne as the prince of Bel-Air.


End file.
